I hope by now you’ve started to think about your goals, whether they are short, medium or long term. I also hope that during this process you’ve begun to think a little bigger than you usually do, despite how scary this may be. However, if you have been thinking along these lines, you may be starting to enter a danger zone which could turn the whole process off and see you rushing back to your comfort zone.
After all, here, in the comfort zone, we know what’s required and it takes little, if any effort to keep the wheels turning. But, somewhere deep inside, we know there’s more, we want more and we have more to give. It’s just a little bit scary to put ourselves out there, because we’re not really sure we can do what’s required.
So what’s really stopping us from breaking free of our current lifestyle and shaping ourselves into something newer, shinier, brighter? There are many reasons for this, but in this post I’m going to consider just one and that is that we don’t actually believe in the successful achievement of our goals.
One of the things that struck me about this was that often our goals seem too far into the future, too large or both, and to actually articulate them makes them sound completely outrageous and therefore outside the realms of belief!
For example take a look at these 5/10-year-goals:
- I will climb Mount Kilimanjaro
- I will own a Lamborghini
- I will be an Oscar-winning actor
- I will be a New York Times bestselling author
Do they sound too outrageous? As you read each of these goals, did your automatic defence mechanism kick in and tell you that these goals are impossible for you? They’re too hard, you don’t have the talent or skills needed, you wouldn’t know what to do etc.
This is natural; we humans have a well-developed sense of self-preservation and by default seek to avoid most risks. But, to what extent do we believe what our defence mechanisms are telling us? The sad thing is that most of us accept the little voice inside our head that keeps us safe and consequently our achievements become limited by our (safe) beliefs, but, as Richard Bach tells us “argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours”.
If we can’t believe that any of these or any other ‘outrageous’ desires can be ours, then we will never get off the starting blocks. It’s imperative therefore that we believe that we can achieve our goals, no matter how far into the future those achievements might be, because failing to believe will lead to failure to start, and if we don’t start, well, we fail.
Let’s take a look at one of these goals and analyse my potential for success! Let’s say I wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro within the next 5 years, and let’s assume that I have the support of my family to make that commitment (not that I need it, but it would probably help). Even as I write this, my mind is already giving me all the reasons I can’t climb the mountain…
- I’m too old
- I’m not fit enough
- I haven’t got the time
- I’m afraid of heights
- I love my creature comforts and hate camping
- I’ve never climbed a mountain…hills don’t count!
- I don’t have the equipment…and on and on and on…
So are these excuses insurmountable (sorry!)? Here’s my counter-list:
- The oldest person to climb Kilimanjaro was Richard Byerley from the USA, who reached the summit in October 2011 when he was 84 years old! Even I’m not that old 😉
- I can work on my fitness
- I’ll give up something so I can find the time
- I’ve lived with being afraid of heights for most of my life, so I’ll just get on with it
- I’ve been camping before!
- I can join a climbing club and train hard
- I can buy or hire the equipment
So if I can find reasonable answers to each of the excuses I have for not attempting this goal, then that’s all I’m left with is having belief in myself that I can achieve it. There’s no doubt that it will take a number of years to prepare for the climb, but, if I truly want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro then the only thing that can stand in my way is me and my belief (or lack of) in my own abilities.
So why not give this little exercise a try?
- Write out one or more of your big, outrageous long-term goals or desires.
- Next, let your mind run off in every direction until it’s found all of the reasons why you can’t, all of your excuses and all your objections. Write each one down as they come to mind.
- Then, write another list to counter each of these negatives with a reasonable or possible solution (don’t worry too much about the feasibility of the solution, once you embark on your journey your solutions will begin to firm up and make more sense)
- Now ask yourself what’s truly holding you back
I’d like to end with a quote from Earl Nightingale, just in case you find it useful as a counter-argument for one of your objections….
“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best use possible.”
As always I love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and perhaps share your outrageous goal(s) or let me know if you found this exercise useful!
Photo: Stig Nygaard