Are You Successful?
Is success always obvious? My post today offers some food for thought…
Have you ever wondered what success actually looks like? I mean, if you were to look at someone closely, would you be able to tell if they were successful or not?
I’m guessing your immediate response would be to look at someone’s outward possessions and judge success in that way. Clearly, this is an easy measure to use. She wears modern, expensive clothes, drives a brand new car and takes exotic holidays. From the outside, that would definitely look successful to many people. But is it really a good or even an appropriate measure of success?
I Wish I Was…
I recall many years ago, a friend who I was at University with commenting on one of her neighbours (we were both mature students with families). “I wish I could be like Jen”, she said, “she seems so happy and contented, whereas I can’t stop until I achieve the next level…and the next…I don’t want to live in this house and just have these things, but she’s happy with it. What’s her secret?”
For Jen, success could be seen as contentment. But you could take this a step further and actually analyse what that contentment meant. Was Jen’s contentment characterised by a lack of ambition, or had she achieved all that she wanted to at that stage of her life – a comfortable home (by her standards), a happy marriage (by her standards), a career (by her standards) as a stay at home Mum?
My friend, let’s call her Sophie, by contrast was highly driven. As well as running a household (she was married with a young child), she was working part-time in a high pressure PR firm whilst studying full time for a degree. Her life was busy with very little time to relax. My guess is that if Sophie lived Jen’s life she would’ve been bored and looking for something to fill her time. Being contented, for Sophie, did not equal success.
Success Is A Personal Measure
You see, success is personal. What one person wants will not be the same as someone else. But not only that, success will mean different things to you at different times of your life and will be driven by your ambitions (or not) and your current circumstances. It’s also likely that some areas of your life will be successful, whilst others are causing little niggles of doubt or even concern.
For some people, whilst the home environment may be generally happy, there may be financial worries, perhaps due to loss of hours at work, poor budgeting or maybe even a fear of dealing with money.
Health issues are a common concern for many people, and, at particular times of the year, there will be a drive to get fit and lose weight.
In your twenties, for example, you may want to start a family, but obviously this is impractical (although not impossible!) in your sixties.
Don’t Let Comparison Steal Your Idea of Success
We often compare ourselves to others, coveting a body like Elle MacPherson or Daniel Craig, but never consider the amount of work that they have put in to achieve the look they desired (notwithstanding the likely airbrushing that has been used on the pictures!).
So be careful that your measure of success is your own. Judging yourself according to others’ expectations will always be a recipe for unhappiness in the long term and will probably result in disappointment. Whereas, if you set your goals based on your true desires, you’ll stand a far greater chance of achieving success…by your standards!
What to do next…
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An interesting discussion is worth comment. I feel that you simply need to write extra on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but commonly folks aren’t enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers
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I agree with your comment about people not talking about these subjects enough, but sometimes it’s difficult to articulate our successes. There’s lots more writing where this came from though, so I’m sure I’ll explore the subject in greater detail in the future. Thanks for taking the time to comment, much appreciated 🙂
I have been inspired by your writing – and can certainly relate to your determination to achieve in anything you do.
Well done you! GWL 🙂
Looking forward to more!
Thanks Irene – so pleased you’ve enjoyed the posts and found them inspiring! Feeling very humbled 😉
A friend of mine had sent me the link to you website as she thought I would enjoy the content…. she was right!! I’ve read both of your posts and enjoyed the positive aspects and comments. Please would you include me in your future posts. I look forward to the next one….thank you.
HI Glyn thanks for your vote of confidence I really appreciate it! Yes, of course, consider yourself included 🙂
Great Job Nicola! I want to be just like you when I grow up!! Always happy to see a fellow TCer succeed!!
Hey Ann, love your comment, ha ha!! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Nicola,
Thank you so much for sharing, I’ll be adding your site to my reader on one of my inspirational lists!
Becky
Hi Becky, so pleased you enjoyed. Thanks for your help too!
Great post….thank you!
I can identify with both your characters at different stages of my life and although I’ve never before thought about it in this way – I will from now on! It’s a really positive way to look at success……no matter how big or small the goal. I’m already learning that small steps can also be successful and satisfying on the way to achieving a bigger goal.
Looking forward to the next ‘food for thought’!
ps love your choice of photo…..the way that third flower (nasturtium?) is just stretching out into the sunlight is a perfect way to visualize and remember your post!
Thanks Essy, so pleased that my post has helped you see things in a new way! New post to follow on Wednesday 🙂
Really enjoyed reading this. It’s very true.
Well done! Very proud of you 🙂
Thank you!!
Success can only ever come from within yourself. It’s just a very hard lesson to learn! Thanks for your help and inspiration.
So true…and you’re welcome!
I can actually relate to one of the characters in this post. I’ve often thought ‘I wish I could be like Jen’…thanks for the inspiration, I look forward to your next post.
Keep them coming :0)
But would being Jen be YOU? Maybe there’s a part of you that wants a calmer life? What would that look like for you? How much time would it equal, where would it fit and what would it contain? Try scribbling some notes down to see if you can work out if the desire is real. Let me know if I can help 🙂
Thanks for the food for thought….now I’m not so sure about ‘being Jen’ :0)
You can be different people at different times, so just choose to be Jen at times that suit you…
Well done great post! Looking forward to more inspiration 🙂
Thank you 🙂