In days gone by, phrases like wearing our ‘Sunday best’ and bringing out the best crockery for special occasions were common place. It was usual for people to have a parlour which was kept clean and tidy and only used when there were important visitors. All other family activity took place in the other (often cramped) rooms of the home.
In some ways, this attitude still prevails. Maybe it is a special outfit that we’re saving for a family occasion like a wedding or a special party, 18th, 21st or 50th maybe? Or perhaps it’s less obvious than the special outfit or crockery and instead maybe we’re saving parts of ourselves for the right time to bring them out? When written in that way, its sounds bizarre, but in truth, we’re all guilty of this to a greater or lesser extent.
I’ve deliberately used the above examples as an analogy for our tendency to put things off while we wait for the perfect set of circumstances to align. Maybe we feel that we can’t start our latest weight loss goals until all the goodies from (say) Christmas have been eaten, or maybe we can’t start on our latest masterpiece until we’ve learned all there is to know about a particular writing or painting style.
In any event, whatever we delay starting, simply because we’re saving our best, will continue to be just an idea, a thought, a scheme which may never come to fruition. Of course, in our own minds, we’re convinced that the universe will align appropriately at some point in the future and then we’ll enthusiastically jump headlong into our plans, make great progress and achieve our desired outcome, but for now, we wait….
But why would we wait? What is the cause of our reluctance to take action now? There may be many reasons why we’re hesitant, and I’ve examined these in some earlier posts ‘5 Barriers to Action‘ and ‘Dealing with Negative People‘, but in essence we simply need to get moving.
Wayne W Dyer explains succinctly in this quote why just getting on with it is so important:
You’ll seldom experience regret for anything that you’ve done. It is what you haven’t done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear. Do it! Develop an appreciation for the present moment. Seize every second of your life and savour it. Value your present moment. Using them up in any self-defeating ways means you’ve lost them forever.
We may live to regret our lack of action because we will have failed to live the life we truly wanted to live. And it’s not just when we’re facing death that regret becomes a weight to carry; regret can be with us all our lives.
We regret the things we haven’t done, both big and small, but then for whatever reason we carry these ‘regret burdens’ around with us like some kind of badge of honour, thus ensuring that any progress we may have made if we’d only forgiven ourselves (or others) for lack of action or ‘failures’, becomes solidified like concrete around our feet. It’s difficult to take action in the present if we continually live in the past.
When thinking of this, I’m drawn to the words of Mark Twain:
The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Can this be true? If we’re living the life we truly want to live, is death more acceptable? I can see the logic in this, after all, the point to living is to live rather than just exist. To do and be the things we want to do and be, and if we haven’t achieved these things, then maybe we are less prepared to die than those who embrace their opportunities and fully live.
So what part of yourself are you saving for best? Can you fully justify to yourself why you haven’t yet let the world see the person you truly are, the one you’re destined to be? Can you feel the burden of the chains of regret beginning to weigh you down? Then the time to step into your new life is now. Take a step, let go of regret and feel the burden lift a little…you’ll be glad you did.
The final words go to Shania Twain…
Later in my life, I’m going to look back and smile and be very fulfilled. I know that if I don’t give it my all right now I’ll regret it later.
Over to you! Are you harbouring some regrets that could easily be lifted by action? Why not leave a comment and share your experiences?
Photo: Phlubdr
Nicola, Your words of inspiration are always welcome. You always send repeated eye openers through these posts.Yes, I am developing an appreciation for this present moment and for myself. So,I am Seizing every second of my life and savoring it. I am valuing my present moment. Thanks!!!
Thanks for your kind words! I’m pleased that you find value in my blog posts, and it’s great to hear that you are seizing your life and really enjoying it!
Great stuff – keep with it!