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How To Put Yourself Out There
I have two new mantras this year to help guide me towards the successful achievement of my goals. These mantras are quite simple…
~> Be consistent.
~> Be visible.
There, simple, but the ‘simple’ fact that I have chosen these words as my guiding mantras for 2018 speaks volumes about how easy they are…not!
I’ve spoken about how to be consistent and achieve your goals in a previous post and will probably write about it again. Indeed, I feel that I am making some good progress in the land of consistency, but am ever mindful that without a constant reminder, consistency is lost in an instant.
But it’s being visible, or, how to put yourself out there that I really want to concentrate on today because this is something that most of us struggle with in one or more areas of our lives.
What Does Putting Yourself Out There Mean?
Here’s an analogy (it paints a pretty picture!)
Putting yourself out there can mean many things, but I think my favourite description of the phrase is being willing to push yourself beyond your comfort zone.
I like to think of my comfort zone like a comfy circular sofa that holds everything inside. It’s cosy with lots of cushions, but there are a few cushions that aren’t as plump as they used to be and they’ve become uncomfortable. They need changing.
But all the cushions aren’t created equally. Some are plush, with ornate embroidered decoration, some are no-frills, they just do the job of being comfortable without being fancy, and others are just perfect as they are because I’ve grown so accustomed to them, they’ve taken on a shape that fits me perfectly.
The cushions represent the things that make up my life as it is now.
Beyond the boundaries of the sofa I can see other more appealing cushions that would look beautiful on my sofa, but I’m not sure if I want to reach out to them or whether to let my familiar cushions go!
The Perils of Putting Yourself Out There
It’s kind of nice to blend in. When we blend in, we’re part of the crowd or the team. We have a paid up membership of the club. In these places we feel that we fit in and are understood.
But over time this can change. We may see members of our group or team come and go. Our best friend or mentor might move on to other things and the fit doesn’t quite feel the same. One or more of our cushions are beginning to lose their plumpness. They’re not as comfortable any more.
But now we’re faced with a difficult choice.
Should we stay where we are, feeling ok but a little bit uncomfortable, or, is it time to put ourselves out there and move on? Both options can feel difficult and awkward.
These Books Will Really Help You to Put Yourself Out There!
Putting Yourself Out There and Getting Rejected
This is the painful truth we must all face. If we put ourselves out there, will we be rejected?
But, to be able to furnish our sofa with cushions that are not only comfy, but also bring us joy, we must reach for the new and better cushions.
We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation.
And the only way is to push through our perceived worries and reach out.
How to deal with rejection
So how can we deal with a possible rejection?
This is purely down to the thoughts we allow ourselves to think and believe. In other words, working on our mindset gives us a much better chance of actually putting ourselves out there. Here are a few thoughts to consider.
It happens to all of us
We all get rejected, so hey, we are comfortably within that group! Here are a few of my rejections and failures which you might have experienced too:
• Asked for a date, flat out ‘No!’
• Flunked the interview and was rejected
• Sent out emails, tweets or status updates that have mostly been ignored
• Asked for a pay rise – another ‘No!’
• Tried to become friends with a group, but it didn’t work out
• Applied to Universities that rejected me
• Failed exams
I’ll leave it there as it could get a bit maudlin, but I think you get the picture!
Accept that it could be the wrong choice
Sometimes it’s just the wrong cushion! Yes, at a distance it might look like it’s going to fit our colour scheme and style perfectly, but once we get up close, we realise that it was the wrong choice all along and we were lucky to be rejected!
We all learn lessons in life. Some stick, some don’t. I have always learned more from rejection and failure than from acceptance and success.
So you’ve been rejected and now know it was the wrong choice in the first place, but don’t give up too soon as the experience was perfect for learning what you really need to know. Review, regroup and get back out there, but this time with a much better understanding of what you want.
People Aren’t Looking That Closely
It’s true, they’re not! Whilst there will be people who will criticise because that’s just what they do, most people are too concerned with their own lives and worries to be watching yours so closely that they see every rejection or failure.
If you don’t believe me, think of a time when you did something that you were really embarrassed about. How many people noticed and actually took the time to point it out?
So don’t be put off by possible rejection. It happens unfortunately, but get over it! It’s ok to retreat back to your comfort zone for a while as you will inevitably be drawn back to try again. Remember, once you know that there’s something different and better out there, that old cushion is only going to become more and more uncomfortable.
Victory Awaits Those Who Try
But let’s not get too wrapped up in the negatives of putting yourself out there.
Related Post: The Power Of Saying Yes To Your Life
Remember that trying and then trying again, can, and eventually will lead to the right outcome. You’ll get the right cushion! And even with previous rejections, you will be able to rejoice in the fact that it was the best thing you ever did for yourself!
How to put yourself out there isn’t the real challenge, dealing with your fears of putting yourself out there is! So, keep your thoughts in check and don’t over think it. Be prepared for rejection and accept it as part of the game. Then just take action, it’s the only way to get your hands on those plump, comfy cushions!