Watch Out For Your Energy Drainers
We all run into them from time to time: life’s energy drainers.
They are the people and circumstances that seem to suck the joy out of life! They sidle up to you, even though you try to avoid them, or they take you on the blind side and you’re left reeling wondering what just happened.
But is it so clear cut? Maybe looking at this from a victim perspective puts a little too much of your precious energy ‘out there’ in the hands of the people and things that you just can’t control.
Maybe a better tactic would be to see yourself as being attractive to the suckiness of the energy drainers, because at least then there’s a chance you can do something about it!
Types of Energy Drainers
The People In Your Life
When we think about energy drainers, we’re often drawn to the idea of “energy vampires”. Those people who take far more than they give. They’re often negative, pessimistic, grumpy or opiniated and their mood rubs off on you if you spend too much time with them.
Alternatively, they may actually be outwardly pleasant, but have an unwavering knack of pressing your buttons by offering unwanted advice and pointing out where they think you are ‘failing’ yourself or others.
Of course, the best scenario would be to extricate ourselves from their clutches, but often this isn’t possible because they are family members, work colleagues or friends to whom we feel indebted in some way.
However, you may feel that it’s time to break ties with this person for the sake of your sanity! And that’s ok.
If this is the case, it’s important to remember that you are an adult and that you can make the choices and decisions you want, as long as you’re prepared to live with the consequences of those choices.
It’s very possible that there will be some kind of upshot from making the break and preparing ahead for this will help you hold your resolve to keep with your chosen path. Alternatively, you might feel that the kindest way to remove yourself from this person is by reducing contact over time.
This may work, although you will always have that feeling of unfinished business – which in itself is an energy drainer. More on this below.
Your Circumstances
We create our circumstances. Not in the sense that we’re responsible for the things life throws our way, whether good or bad, but rather in the way we choose to react to those life events.
I, like everyone else, have experienced some difficult and challenging life events. I’ve also been blessed with some amazing experiences in my life. And, whether we like it or not, both the ups and the downs will continue to appear in our lives randomly over our remaining years.
That’s life, and there’s nothing you can do to stop the flow.
However, how you respond and react to the circumstances that come your way will have a huge effect on your energy.
Just before I continue with this point, let me just say that some life events will floor you. You’ll be unprepared both for the event and for the way your body and mind reacts. Again, unfortunately, this is normal and you will need to ride the torrent.
My point here though is that most life events aren’t so horrid and even the horrid ones pass with time.
Your choice is how to respond and react over the longer term. If you choose to continue to relive the difficulties either in your mind or through telling people over and over about it, then your energy will remain low. You don’t have to follow this path – this is a choice.
I love this quote from Les Brown:
Everybody’s got a story. 80% [of people] don’t care, and the other 20% are glad it’s you!
If you find yourself caught in this loop, it’s time to make a new choice. Find the appropriate help you need to get yourself through and then grab on tight to the idea of the life you actually want to live.
Then, choose to live it. Refuse to let your mind take you back to that horrible time for a good old wallow! Yes, acknowledge it, but don’t become one with it again. For your energy’s and life’s sake, you must let go.
Taking Things Personally
It’s not all about you, you know?
Sometimes (often!) people say and do things because of what’s going on in their lives, not because they deliberately wanted you to feel small, guilty or rubbish!
You can test this idea on yourself. When did you last react to something someone did or said in a way you now wish you could change? You were tired or stressed; had just had an argument with your partner or you just got up in a bad mood!
Other people are like that too. They usually don’t mean to snap or call judgement or rain on your parade, they’re just hearing you through the perspective of their own life circumstances.
Overthinking, worrying and stressing about what someone has said will drain your energy as well as making you feel bad or angry. Let go and move on with your day.
By the way, you don’t need to know what’s going on in someone’s life to put this ‘skill’ into action. Just accept that everyone has ‘stuff’ that they’re dealing with, so cut them and you some slack.
Unfinished Business and Projects
How many projects do you have cluttering up your home and mind and vying for your attention?
What about decisions waiting to be made and put into action?
Unfinished business does a great job of depleting your energy. It creeps up on you with trigger-reminders like opening a cupboard and seeing the bag of fabric you bought and getting a shot of guilt for spending the money.
Or running into the person you were trying to avoid because you’ve failed to get back to them about the dinner they invited you to (that you don’t want to go to).
Cleaning up your unfinished business will take a huge weight off your mind and give you back the energy it’s been slowing sapping away.
Here are two suggestions:
• Throw or donate all those projects you’ve started and have lost interest in. You’ll be glad you did!
• Make prompt decisions, especially if you’re not going to accept the invitation (it’ll save you so much wasted guilt) and people prefer to know sooner rather than later!
Bonus! Things That Will Not Drain Your Energy
Working on Your Goals
Working on your goals or anything that is truly important to you will energise you. While you’re resisting and avoiding you’re using up precious energy justifying your lack of action, usually citing not having enough time or money to do the job properly.
But working on your goals will give you time back you thought you’d lost, because you will feel energised and motivated long after you’ve tackled your goal tasks and this will spill over into your normal day-to-day activities.
Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone
When was the last time you stepped outside your comfort zone? How did that feel for you? Scary but exciting?!
That’s how it is outside your comfort zone. It’s where your future life is living, evolving and growing. It’s a great place to be, full of energy and zest for life.
But how did you feel before you took that step? Scared, but in a negative way, overwhelmed, stressed? In other words, resisting the inevitable was an energy drain! Ironic, eh?!
Conclusion
Energy drainers are all around us, but more importantly, we can fuel or starve each one with our own actions and perceptions.
We’re all trying to create a well-balanced, happy and enjoyable lifestyle, so doesn’t it make sense to remove as many energy drainers from your life as possible?
With effort this is possible, but as with all things that go against our current way of thinking, it’s not always easy. So start with the easier things and get working on your goals and stepping outside your comfort zone.
Doing this will increase your self confidence and consequently you’ll naturally move away from the people and circumstances that have been a burden until now!
What to do next…
> Read another post – The Power of Saying Yes To Your Life
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