I hope by now you’ve started to think about your goals, whether they are short, medium or long term. I also hope that during this process you’ve begun to think a little bigger than you usually do, despite how scary this may be. However, if you have been thinking along these lines, you may be starting to enter a danger zone which could turn the whole process off and see you rushing back to your comfort zone.
After all, here, in the comfort zone, we know what’s required and it takes little, if any effort to keep the wheels turning. But, somewhere deep inside, we know there’s more, we want more and we have more to give. It’s just a little bit scary to put ourselves out there, because we’re not really sure we can do what’s required.
So what’s really stopping us from breaking free of our current lifestyle and shaping ourselves into something newer, shinier, brighter? There are many reasons for this, but in this post I’m going to consider just one and that is that we don’t actually believe in the successful achievement of our goals.
One of the things that struck me about this was that often our goals seem too far into the future, too large or both, and to actually articulate them makes them sound completely outrageous and therefore outside the realms of belief!
For example take a look at these 5/10-year-goals:
- I will climb Mount Kilimanjaro
- I will own a Lamborghini
- I will be an Oscar-winning actor
- I will be a New York Times bestselling author
Do they sound too outrageous? As you read each of these goals, did your automatic defence mechanism kick in and tell you that these goals are impossible for you? They’re too hard, you don’t have the talent or skills needed, you wouldn’t know what to do etc.
This is natural; we humans have a well-developed sense of self-preservation and by default seek to avoid most risks. But, to what extent do we believe what our defence mechanisms are telling us? The sad thing is that most of us accept the little voice inside our head that keeps us safe and consequently our achievements become limited by our (safe) beliefs, but, as Richard Bach tells us “argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours”.
If we can’t believe that any of these or any other ‘outrageous’ desires can be ours, then we will never get off the starting blocks. It’s imperative therefore that we believe that we can achieve our goals, no matter how far into the future those achievements might be, because failing to believe will lead to failure to start, and if we don’t start, well, we fail.
Let’s take a look at one of these goals and analyse my potential for success! Let’s say I wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro within the next 5 years, and let’s assume that I have the support of my family to make that commitment (not that I need it, but it would probably help). Even as I write this, my mind is already giving me all the reasons I can’t climb the mountain…
- I’m too old
- I’m not fit enough
- I haven’t got the time
- I’m afraid of heights
- I love my creature comforts and hate camping
- I’ve never climbed a mountain…hills don’t count!
- I don’t have the equipment…and on and on and on…
So are these excuses insurmountable (sorry!)? Here’s my counter-list:
- The oldest person to climb Kilimanjaro was Richard Byerley from the USA, who reached the summit in October 2011 when he was 84 years old! Even I’m not that old 😉
- I can work on my fitness
- I’ll give up something so I can find the time
- I’ve lived with being afraid of heights for most of my life, so I’ll just get on with it
- I’ve been camping before!
- I can join a climbing club and train hard
- I can buy or hire the equipment
So if I can find reasonable answers to each of the excuses I have for not attempting this goal, then that’s all I’m left with is having belief in myself that I can achieve it. There’s no doubt that it will take a number of years to prepare for the climb, but, if I truly want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro then the only thing that can stand in my way is me and my belief (or lack of) in my own abilities.
So why not give this little exercise a try?
- Write out one or more of your big, outrageous long-term goals or desires.
- Next, let your mind run off in every direction until it’s found all of the reasons why you can’t, all of your excuses and all your objections. Write each one down as they come to mind.
- Then, write another list to counter each of these negatives with a reasonable or possible solution (don’t worry too much about the feasibility of the solution, once you embark on your journey your solutions will begin to firm up and make more sense)
- Now ask yourself what’s truly holding you back
I’d like to end with a quote from Earl Nightingale, just in case you find it useful as a counter-argument for one of your objections….
“Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best use possible.”
As always I love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and perhaps share your outrageous goal(s) or let me know if you found this exercise useful!
Photo: Stig Nygaard
Inspirational reading, thanks Nicola!
There are some goals I just can’t seem to achieve and having read your post I decided to question why? I was inspired to look back at where I had been successful in achieving goals in the past. The one constant, at the beginning of every successful journey was the true, unrelenting desire to achieve my goal and the self belief that I would.
My first significant goal in life came to me when I was 13. I had an overwhelmingly strong desire to be able to play a musical instrument. Looking back, I cannot remember having any thoughts about possible obstacles or barriers to achieving this goal. What’s interesting is, if I had stared this journey today I know I would be thinking; where do I start? Instruments are expensive, tuition is expensive, I can’t read music and it will take years! All of which I now recognise as obstacles.
Having set myself this outrageous goal, I spoke to a friend who I knew played in a marching band. He introduced me to the bandmaster and after a short conversation I was invited to join the junior section of the band. They provided me with a trumpet (a really battered one to begin with, but these improved as I got better). I attended practices every Monday night 7-9pm where the older members would teach the newer members how to read and play music. We had to practice at least once every day – even if you could only manage 20mins.
With 5 sisters and 3 brothers practising at home was not easy and was often met with strong opposition. I remember on several occasions being ordered into the attic or to the garage at the end of the garden to practice and on one occasion I remember having a large book thrown at me! I can’t blame them though, for at least the first 2 years it sounded depressingly bad! But my self belief and desire remained as strong as ever and this really did keep me going.
It took me just over a year to play a simple tune, (Au Clair De La Lune) and within two years I was starting to find my way through 3rd trumpet parts (the easier parts) playing for the main band. Then suddenly it all seemed to click and I realised I could play and it was an amazing feeling. Even more amazing, two years after that I found myself performing 1st trumpet parts in the Albert Hall, London.
Having carried out this exercise, I once again truly believe anything is possible provided you maintain self belief and a strong desire to achieve your goal. It’s not without sacrifice, determination, will power and in this example, physical and mental pain! It is a journey and provided the desire is there, with self belief you will reach the end. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, the moment you take that first step you are on your way. Every step after that is one less step to take and you are one step closer to your goal. And the feeling is amazing when you get there!
Wow Andrew, what a fantastic story!! You’ve played at the Albert Hall, that must’ve been an amazing experience! It’s interesting that you say that when you were younger you didn’t notice the obstacles, you just went ahead anyway with blind faith and determination! I think we could all do with that reminder sometimes. I’m so pleased at your achievement…so what’s next?! Thanks for sharing your lovely story 🙂
Love this post because it explains nicely how we often obstruct our own progress. I especially appreciated you explaining that we don’t need to know how to figure it out because the answers come when we need them, but not usually before then.
btw-One of my 5 year goals is to climb Kilimanjaro! & I’m not anywhere is the right condition to do it–YET!
Hi Michelle 🙂 Yes, trying to figure out all the answers before we even start is a classic delaying tactic! Just believe that it will all become clear in the fullness of time and then get going, because it is true! I had no idea how this blog would work before getting started, but the more I progress the clearer the next step becomes.
Wow to your goal!! Please go with it…and start NOW! I’d love to hear what you’ve done/are doing now to start moving forward. Imagine what it would feel like to reach the summit – you can do it Michelle!!
This is a great discussion! I touched on it myself with my post in the TC forum today!! Your blog is beautiful and I love the picture too!! hugs, Ann 😉
Thanks Ann, it’s lovely to see you here! How strange that we were both having similar thoughts! I’ve seen your TC post and love it!
Excellent post!
Thanks Erica 🙂
We will never give 100 percent of our efforts to something if we do not have a strong belief that we can do it. It is one of our human defense mechanisms. As soon as we reach beyond our comfort zone, our limiting beliefs will reel us back in. They make us wonder why we ever thought we could do that in the first place.
See Rachel’s latest blog post: The 16 Habits of Highly Unsuccessful People
Yes, I agree Rachel. Part of the process towards success is to be aware that this can and will happen unless we consciously look out for the tell tale signs that we’re being reeled back in and then actively keep going forward! Thanks for posting 🙂
Setting and achieving big goals takes the mindset of a winner, not a doubter! Love this post today! Found you via ubc and I think this is the first time I’ve come across your blog!
Thanks MelAnn! Yes, this is my first ever blog, and just a couple of weeks old! I agree that we need a winner’s mindset!