The Time Of Our Lives!

Time is amorphous and unique.  We can’t capture or hold it and it’s the one resource that we can’t get any more of.  But one way or another, it affects us all.  Whatever our life choices, time will force difficult decisions upon us about how and where to spend it.  Sometimes our decisions will feel in absolute alignment with who we are or want to be, other times there will be a complete disconnect and we will feel unhappiness, resentment and confusion about our choices and the time spent on them.

In modern culture, we view ourselves as always trying to save time, or trying to fit multiple tasks into the day.  We’re busy getting on with our lives and sometimes it might feel that there’s far too much to do.  The mantra of ‘work hard, play hard’ is common, and it’s not unusual for us to put our personal lives on hold while we attempt to make our mark in the workplace or see to the needs of the family before our own.

But is there a price to pay for this hurried way of life, and is there a better way?  You will recall from my very first post Are You Successful?, that I believe that everyone should live their life by their own standards and not those of others, and for me this belief extends to how we use our time.

In our working lives, there’s a very fine line between having control of our own time and having to bend to the needs of others (bosses and colleagues).  If we enjoy our jobs, both sides of this equation will balance.  The time requirements of the company are in alignment with the time we want to spend doing our jobs.  We experience ‘job satisfaction’ and the time we spend is pleasurable.  However, if there’s a downward shift in our job satisfaction, we will feel out of alignment and other less positive emotions will surface making the time spent feel long and possibly arduous.

This is just one example, but the concept holds true for other familiar situations.  In our relationships as long as we want to give the amount of time ‘required’ to maintain the relationship at a certain level, then we will feel in control of the time we commit to the relationship.  But, if there’s a shift in the relationship dynamic, this may no longer hold true.  Children leaving home can leave a vacuum in the parental time equation.  This can be positive, leading to the freeing up of time to pursue personal goals and ambitions or negative leading to feelings of empty-nest syndrome.

It’s important therefore to consider the importance of investing our time now to enable positive experiences in the future.  What are we doing now that will enhance or detract from our enjoyment of our future time?  This is where goal setting and general planning can be especially useful.  As I’ve mentioned in an earlier blog, it’s often not necessary to make grand sweeping changes.  Instead we can benefit from small changes maintained over the long term.  Examples include spending more time with your partner (to enhance your relationship), taking more exercise (to improve your health and vitality), saving a little more money (for that special holiday, child’s wedding) etc.  It’s worth taking a few seconds to consider the flip side of these examples, and where doing the exact opposite may possibly lead us in the longer term…single, unhealthy and poor, maybe?

The point is, we’re not going to live forever, and there’s a lot of living to cram in in our time here.  But quite often we act like we’re immortal, putting things off until tomorrow, or next month or next year.  This quote, attributed to the film director Alexander Payne encompasses the time versus living problem:    “Even if we die at 100, we’re still dying young.  I want at least 700 years.  There’s a lot of travelling and books to read and movies to see.  I’m not going to squeeze it all in in 85 years.”

This concept was also explored in the film ‘The Bucket List’ when two men (Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman) each wrote out a list of things they wanted to do before they died.  The notable part about this was that each man had waited until they were seriously ill before going for it.  Surely if there are things we want to do, see and have then it’s preferable to get going sooner rather than later, because who guarantees us life into old age anyway?  Given the events of this week alone, none of us are guaranteed a long life and we therefore have a duty, an obligation even, to know what it is we want and to actively pursue it.  No more keeping our best clothes just for special occasions (…weddings, funerals…), no more putting the house cleaning ahead of spending an afternoon with a good friend, no more ‘I can’t because, because, because…’.  The urgency to live the life we want now is palpable!   What are we waiting for?

Furthermore there’s an even greater benefit to taking care to do the things we really want to do, and that is that we can create the illusion of stretching our time.  It’s a paradox that by extending our range of experiences, time just appears to expand.  Do you notice, for example, how time seems to slow when you change your usual routine?  If you go on holidays, does the change of pace actually result in a feeling of more time, of the days passing a little slower?  Or, if you take up a new hobby, does the resultant puncture in your usual routine allow for a new reference point that when thought about seems a long time ago compared to the routine tasks you’ve carried out?

So if you’re looking for more time in your life, what are you waiting for?  Start drawing up that list now, experience new things and watch time stretch before your eyes!

Why not let us know what’s the top thing on your ‘bucket list’, leave a comment and share!

I have a poll running on my facebook page.  Please pop over and register your preference for more time, money, happiness or health!

 

Photo: Jonathan Kershaw