From a very early age, I always knew that I wanted to be a teacher. I even knew that I wanted to teach English. I would often “play” school with my younger brother and sister, me the teacher, them the students. I’d give them work to do, chivvy them along if they nattered instead of doing the allotted task, and then mark their efforts with a red pen. I really was a School Ma’am! They were golden days for me. Days when I was doing something that naturally appealed to me (even if it didn’t to my siblings), something at which I felt gifted.
Later, when my siblings no longer indulged my love of school, my attention turned to the joy of reading. I always had my nose deeply buried in a book, I remember the days of Enid Blyton and The Famous Five (I always saw myself as George), then growing up and discovering Daphne Du Maurier and Thomas Hardy. I would become part of the story – to this day, I can still feel what it was like to be Tess of the D’Ubervilles.
So how come I’ve spent the last 20 years of my life as an Accountant? The traditional view of these two professions just seems so far apart. The teacher, front of class, commanding the attention of children or young adults, joining in with the painting or sand play, directing learning through lectures, role play and exercises. By contrast, the traditional view of the Accountant is someone who may be somewhat introverted, a back office type, quietly sifting through the numbers, conservatively saying no to all developments that cost money!
When I look back, I can only conclude that I ended up working in accountancy because I didn’t have a plan for my life. In fact, I didn’t even know that you could have a life plan! But it’s not that there’s anything wrong with accountancy, after all, it’s served me well these last 20 years, but over the last few years, I’ve known that something was missing. There’s been some kind of a mental shift and I needed to find that ‘something’ if I was to feel satisfied with the person I truly am.
My journey of self discovery over the last few years has been full of enthusiastic starts, followed by disastrous dead-ends; promise and potential followed by disappointment and frustration. For a while I thought I’d like to run my own accountancy business. I’d work for myself rather than be employed in the corporate world. This required huge amounts of compliance paperwork to be completed. I managed to complete the forms and even got around to submitting them, but when they were rejected – twice – I gave up, having already become jaded with the idea some months earlier.
My next major project was to work (part time) in network marketing. I actually enjoyed this work for a large part of the time I was involved with the organisation. It really is hard graft though, and, alongside a full time job plus supporting a family it became too much, so, I made the decision to move on and look for the next thing.
Over the years I have spent time trying out many new things, but then decided, for various reasons not to pursue these things any further. To the casual onlooker this might seem like failure, but I don’t see it this way. For me, each attempt at finding my passion has taught me new and valuable skills which I’ve then been able to use in other areas of my life. But, the major gain for me has been the things I’ve learned about myself. There’s no substitute for self-understanding, for knowing why we react in certain ways, and for recognising which stuff ‘ticks our boxes’ both good and bad.
So these are some of the reasons we should continue to seek out our life-passion or purpose. The process itself is a journey, not a destination. But how do we even start?
The accepted wisdom is that we should use our childhood memories as a guide to help us find our passion. As children we didn’t analyse our thoughts or comply with other peoples’ expectations of us, we just did what we liked to do. Our parents would’ve looked at our play-games and indulged our fantasies with a smile. If we pretended to drive a train, they probably would’ve bought us a train set, if we liked to draw, they would’ve bought us crayons and if we enjoyed making mud pies in the garden, they probably would’ve lent us the saucepans from the kitchen.
So are you living the life you want? Or, are you like I was, fumbling your way, trying to find your true path? Think back, and consider the clues. There might not be a direct link, but there will at least be a hint at the direction we should be considering. The path can be elusive, and you will probably make many false starts, as I did, but, when it finally appears, it’s magical! And if you’ve ever wondered how to get motivated, finding your passion is the answer…you won’t be able to get enough of it!
These days you will find me learning and improving my public speaking skills, helping people with their life goals, and here, writing on my blog. I find that I am truly inspired by human potential; I come alive when I’m speaking and I’m finally writing. In some ways I’ve come full circle. I always wanted to be a teacher, standing up in front of the class, helping to develop, inspire and educate, and here I am…finally picking up where I left off when I was about six years old.
Do any parts of this story resonate with you and do you see yourself on a journey of self-discovery? Share your thoughts and comments!
Photo: Ian Wilson
Boy, Nicola! I felt a bit like I was reading “This is your life”. I’ve traveled so many of the paths you describe, although my passion is writing, rather than teaching. But Accounting has paid my bills for the last 30 years or so, and frankly, I fell into it by accident! (I guess that should have been my first red flag, huh?). But every stumbling step I take brings me that much closer to doing what I’m passionate about, and somehow, I’ve learned some things along the way which will make that dream even richer! Thank you for sharing your journey.,
I love the idea of going back to your childhood passions to find your purpose! And it is so true that when you really discover your purpose and go back to it when you get confused, it just seems to make everything much more clear.
Oh, I so resonate with your story, Nicola. For me, it was 20 years in administration. And you’re right – it’s the drifting into things that does it. Having no plan. Like the quote says: ‘If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will get you there.’ Really uplifting read, so thanks for sharing.
What a fabulous blog! I have been so busy either side of half term I seem to have missed out on lots, including your most recent offerings….and look what I’ve been missing!
I read this as soon as I woke this morning….after not doing so at the weekend….wow, what a difference it has made to Monday morning!
I feel alive, inspired, motivated and ready to face the world….with a smile. (I’ve been singing your praises and spreading the word too!)
I’m beginning to realise nothing is insurmountable….we just need a good helping of self belief and be in the right frame of mind to deal positively with what comes our way or indeed what we wish to come our way!
Thank you for your lovely writing….here’s to a Happy Monday and many more to follow 🙂
Thanks Essy, what a lovely comment! It’s lovely to hear that the things I write are received so positively. Blogging can be a lonely occupation ;/
Thank you for spreading the word too – that’s so exciting!
I hope I can continue to keep you inspired and motivated in the coming months…and years…!
Well Nicola, you have certainly triggered my childhood memories with this posting! I was a child in the fifties, at a time when play was of our own making. Like you, I remember wanting to be a teacher, but my pupils were my toys and I made everything down to their homework books and a school register. I also spent many a happy hour being a bus driver on the stairs at home so my toys went on lovely journeys to the seaside! Sadly, my Dad who was pure Scot didn’t believe that girls should go in to higher education as they were destined to be wives and mothers at home so at sixteen I left school and found my first job, as a library assistant.
I did become a sunday school teacher in my teens and also a youth club leader so did get a taste of how it might have been!
Alas, too late now for me to become a teacher, and now that I am nearing retirement who knows what doors will open up for me in the next stage of my life! I’ve always loved to see new places, near and far so perhaps there’s still a little of that bus driver in me?
Thanks for your comment Irene, I’m enjoying seeing you in my minds eye as a bus driver with your peak cap and I’m imagining a red double-decker bus!
It’s good to hear that you are looking forward to retirement for the opportunities it will afford you when those doors open up. It’s an exciting time and a chance to build a life at the pace you want, rather than that imposed by work commitments. Maybe teaching will appear in your future, who knows? It may not be in the traditional sense, but we can all be teachers in one way or another!