Are you one of those people who enjoys reading the instructions that come with a piece of put-together-at-home furniture or the instructions that tell you how to get the best out of your new phone? It seems to me that we either fall into the category of feeling that to read the instructions is a necessity that will save time in the long term (and in my experience I think the numbers of these people rank at the lower end of the scale), or, are you like most people who throw the instructions away and just dive headlong into the task in the belief that you know best anyway?!
Three hours later when you’ve created a wobbly table and have half a dozen screws left over, you step back and look at your efforts and wonder why they sell such shoddy furniture!
But why do we do this? Why is it that we have a perverse need to ignore the best efforts and advice given by other people and instead insist on re-designing the process to suit ourselves, even though this might not (and most likely isn’t) the most effective way of doing something?
Maybe we like to think of ourselves as cleverer than the person giving us the advice or maybe we just don’t like being told how to do things! Whatever the reason, it seems to me that it is quite important that to some extent we have this stubborn streak within our nature since this is the personality trait which will ultimately push us on to try new things and push at the edges of our knowledge and experience.
But for those people who not only push way beyond their comfort zones, but also intrude on the comfort zones of other people, this is where we see innovation and development. This is also where we see those who are uncomfortable with these innovations holding back and trying to maintain the status quo.
To some extent I believe we all have this tendency to hold back in some areas of our lives, but, luckily, not all, otherwise we would never try anything new! After all, it’s one thing to sit within our comfort zones but quite another to be totally consumed by it.
In this vein, there’s a quote by Henry Ford which I love:
‘If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said
faster horses.’!
Of course, this is partly to do with having the imagination to think up something new but it also demonstrates that we like to stick with the things we know, with just the odd tweak here and there so that it fits really well with our own personal needs and wants.
But what if we were to push beyond our comfort zones into areas that we don’t routinely explore? This could be exciting and exhilarating or it could cause us fear and anxiety.
I recall many years ago pushing myself to ride the thrill ride Air at Alton Towers. Now I have to tell you that I am terrified of heights and so any sort of roller coaster is always off limits for me. In all honesty, whenever we made a family trip to Alton Towers, I was the proverbial ‘bag lady’, left outside the ride holding all the bags and coats whilst the rest of the family disappeared onto the rides!
But this particular year I was determined to overcome my fear, and so I queued (fast-track to give me less time to change my mind). I was strapped into my seat, my heart was pounding, my legs were like jelly and I really, r-e-a-l-l-y wanted to get off, but it was too late. We were lifted off the ground and into the air and the ride started.
Two minutes later and feeling completed exhilarated, I jumped down from the ride onto solid ground. My pulse was racing, I was smiling ear-to-ear and whooping with joy! I really couldn’t believe that I’d gone through with it. Apparently I screamed all the way around, but I had no recollection of that at all. I loved every moment of the ride, but, I have absolutely no intention of ever doing it again!
This huge step was a means-to-an-end; a method of showing myself that if I really put my mind to something, I can carry through. It was also an attempt to show myself that being outside my comfort zone is a place worth exploring, in spite of fear and anxiety!
Maybe this is a little extreme, but it was well worth the effort. Indeed, although I wasn’t willing to climb back on to Air again that day, I did however try out a number of roller coasters that I’d hitherto avoided and I had a fantastic day!
So what did I learn that day? Well, it really didn’t matter what anyone else told me about the rides or how great the safety processes were or even the fact that I’d paid full price to enter the park. On all occasions up until this particular day, it was my way or no way and that meant, stay small, opt-out and just get through the day. However, once I’d made the decision to face my fears, I found that they evaporated away, that I was at least as big, if not bigger than my fears.
So, if you’re someone who likes to try some things, but maybe you’re not too sure or willing to try other things even though they somehow appear attractive to you, then really it’s just a matter of making the decision and carrying through (really, that’s all it is!). Reduce your options so that backing out will be difficult (I was strapped into my seat!) and then just step forward. I can assure you that it’s never as bad as you believe it’s going to be and that actually the thing you’ve been avoiding usually turns out to be really enjoyable and exciting.
Remember, most of us throw the instructions away because we’d rather have a go ourselves, so treat your most challenging fear in the same way and just give it a try! Good luck!
I’d love to hear your stories of overcoming fears and stepping into the unknown! Please share!
Photo: Tsahi Levent-Levi