How To Get Started (Even When You’re Scared)
You could be reading this during the 2020/21 pandemic or maybe (hopefully) by the time you read this, we’ve all moved on and life has returned to normal, but whenever you’re reading it, you came here because something is stopping you from getting started on that ‘thing’ that’s important to you.
You might be feeling compelled to make a start whilst also resisting. You’re frustrated, even angry with yourself for not getting on with the work or for procrastinating. But most of all, you’re sad. You know there’s an important part of you that needs to be surfaced, but right now, it still hasn’t seen the light.
So what’s causing this lack of action and, more importantly, what can you do about it?
There could be many reasons why you’re stuck and want to know how to get started, and today I’m going to look at five possible reasons and what you can do to ease yourself into action. I’ll also link to a few other blogs on the site which could help too.
The Start Doesn’t Have To Be Good
It’s often said that the hardest part of any endeavour is just to get started and there’s a lot of truth in that statement…it’s why you’re here, after all.
When you’re faced with a blank page, an uphill climb, a new commitment, a scary decision or any other kind of task that’s different to your normal reality you feel overwhelmed to the point of inaction.
• You don’t know how or where to start.
• You worry that what you create will be rubbish.
• It feels like your brain just shut down and went blank
• Suddenly doing anything else is more attractive!
But these are all normal reactions to getting started on something new or important.
The first trick to overcome this obstacle is to fool your brain into thinking that what you’re doing isn’t actually important, in fact, you’re just going to dabble…
Create A Draft
It’s often useful to think of the task you need to complete as a “draft”. In other words, this is just a pretend effort at getting something together.
Whether that involves actually writing the word “DRAFT” in big red letters at the top of your report (as I’ve done with this blog post!) or just telling yourself that you’re dabbling, outlining or experimenting with your idea. This helps to quieten the inner voices for a while – usually just long enough to get yourself off the starting blocks.
Once you’re moving along, you’ll generally find that your forward momentum will keep you going, but if you falter, just keep reminding yourself that you’re just playing with the idea for now, it’s not serious stuff and gently nudge yourself forward.
Your Doubts Are Holding You Back
So you need to create something from scratch or maybe it’s something that requires you to be “on show” in some way and you get scared. All your ‘what ifs’ make an appearance and chip away at your confidence and your resolve to get into action. The little voice in your head will be saying things like:
• Err…and who do you think you are?
• What if you mess up?
• What if they laugh at you?
• What if they’re angry?
• What if it turns out great and then you have to do more?
And on and on. The good news is that this is completely normal, the bad news is that no matter how good you become, those little voices will always be there. Comforting, eh?!
Name Your Inner Voices
I like to think that if my little voices are always going to be with me, I may as well get started anyway while they moan and bicker in the background.
I see my inner doubters as a useless bureaucratic committee who are just there to moan, criticise and bicker about pretty much anything I try to do that might make them uncomfortable. It kind of gives the whole thing a sense of comedy. I can almost see them in my mind’s eye like comic characters. (If you’re as old as me you might remember the puppets from the program “Spitting Image” from the 90’s – these are my inner doubters!)
Your inner voices might take on a completely different character but try to make them ridiculous in some way. Think Harry Potter and casting a “Reeediculous!” spell to turn your inner voices and doubters into something that makes you laugh.
You Need Accountability
Some of us need accountability. Maybe it’s just something we’re conditioned to because of going through school and college where there was always a deadline and always someone waiting for the piece of work we needed to get done.
But now you’re out in the real world and there’s no one holding you to account, you drift and put off, delay and procrastinate. If there’s no one waiting for your piece of work except you, that’s just not enough of an inducement to action.
So what can you do?
Involve A Friend
If the mind tricks still aren’t cutting it, then it’s time for more leverage in the form of a friend or an ‘enemy’. Think of a friend whose opinion is important to you and then talk to your friend about the critical thing that you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it. By doing this you’re upping the ante. You won’t want to let your friend’s opinion of you drop, so come hell or high water you must now get the task done.
Call On An Enemy
Or how about using an ‘enemy’ to create the same kind of momentum? This time it’s about choosing a cause that you really despise and setting up a timed donation to them. The amount and timing of the donation must be enough that it creates urgency to get moving. If you succeed the donation gets cancelled, but if you fail, the donation goes ahead.
The point of these two suggestions is to create some leverage that creates more discomfort than the discomfort of getting started.
Find The Time
One of the most common excuses I hear for not getting started on an important task is that you just don’t have the time. I happen to agree with you on this one because there never will be enough time to do all the things you want, need or should do.
And that’s just life.
We all have the same 24 hours each day, although admittedly we have differing commitments on those 24 hours.
But think about your task for a moment. Who do you know who has already achieved it? They could be someone you know personally or a celebrity or a distant relative, doesn’t really matter.
Consider their life and how they might have shoe-horned the task into their 24 hours/day. Using the excuse of “it’s ok for them because…[fill in the blank]” won’t cut it here because I can assure you that they will have been busy too.
Where and How To Find Time
The simple answer is that they gave their important task a higher priority. It became more important to them in that moment than sleep, cleaning, watching TV, playing games, socialising or working long hours.
They found where in their busy schedule the task was going to reside and they set boundaries around it so that they could make progress – even if it was slow.
So where can you find the time? If you want to make a change, then the very first thing you’re going to have to do is make a change to your schedule so that you can fit it into your daily 24 hours.
But don’t let yourself get bogged down with this decision as if it’s another task you have to do. Just think of something you can do without for now and use that time to progress your task. If that time slot doesn’t work out, then experiment with a different time slot.
The important thing is not to give into the temptation to tell yourself that you haven’t got enough time. Just keep reminding yourself it’s a matter of priorities and focus.
It’s You
Now here’s the clincher. You can use each of these how to get started ideas to get started or you can use them as another reason not to get started.
Errr….what?!
That’s right. When you’re stuck in a loop of not getting started, even the best ideas often won’t make a difference and that’s because you’ve allowed yourself to get stuck in the not starting loop.
So now I’ve called you out on that sneaky bit of behaviour, what are you going to do about it?
You could of course keep doing exactly what you’re doing now – nothing!
Or, you could see your inactivity for what it is and just dive in.
Whatever your choice – start or don’t start – no one’s watching, no one cares, no one is waiting to call you out…except you.
Are you ready to honour the call?
What to do next…
> Read another post – How To Make Yourself Do Something Even When You Don’t Want To
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