Life Will Always Get In The Way Of Your Goals
I needed to write today. It felt like an overwhelming urge that had to be addressed, but when I opened up the program on my computer I drew a blank because I had no idea of what it was I wanted to write about.
Lately I’ve been writing a lot about productivity – maybe because I’ve been feeling that my productivity isn’t where I want it to be, which is true. It’s like I’ve been searching for ideas to enhance my own productivity and sharing those ideas and experiences with you.
But today I don’t want to write about productivity because it’s on my mind that life has just been getting in the way.
Seeing Above The Parapet
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
As I write this, it’s the Easter bank holiday weekend (in the UK) and having four whole days off from the day job has let my mind finally rise above the parapet of formulas, spreadsheets and tight deadlines.
It’s as if my mind has come back to life and now it wants nothing more than to be creative.
Life’s Unwelcome Offerings
But that’s not all of it. I’ve been unwell too. I suffered an injury a few weeks ago and then, I guess because life wasn’t done with me yet, I also caught a cold. Between the two, it’s getting on for four weeks of feeling less than par…but today is a good day and I want to write, to create something, to bring something to life.
But why do I want to do this? Writing gives me solace. It’s a place I can go that takes me away from the stresses and demands of life. It’s my quiet place.
It also stretches me – forces me to reach into my mind to find the ideas that have become buried underneath the daily grind.
And there’s the issue.
Habits and Behaviours
Because for most of us, if we’ve set some goals for ourselves, we start off with that enthusiasm that feels like it can carry us towards our wants effortlessly.
But that just isn’t the case, because life will always try to get in the way of your goals.
By their very nature, a goal is something that is currently out of your reach. It’s a change you want to make, or a way of being that appeals to you. In other words, it’s something different to where and who you are now.
But, paradoxically, you live in the ‘now’, so by default your current life is the one that’s getting in the way…and is the reason why achieving your goals is so monumentally difficult.
Day-In-Day-Out
Think about one of your regular, normal days. You wake up and immediately fall into your current behavioural pattern. Maybe that’s to snooze the alarm or maybe you drag yourself out of bed and head for the kitchen and start making coffee.
Your routines that are so firmly embedded, then somehow get you to school or work or wherever it is you need to be.
Then the next routine kicks in as you go about your day, attending classes or meetings, running errands and working through your never-ending to-do list.
A little while later your next routine takes over as you navigate getting back home, maybe pick the kids up, putting food on the table, getting some chores done…and so it goes on.
But where, in all this ‘now’ activity, was the space for your goals?
And this is the problem, if we don’t consciously take the time to rise above our daily routines, it’s our daily routines that will win.
Every. Single. Time.
Sometimes, we’re lucky and our routines are interrupted by a pleasant outside event, such as this 4-day bank holiday weekend bringing me to the blank page today. And sometimes, our routines get interrupted by unwelcome events that force us to re-evaluate and make changes.
It’s All In Your Mind
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
George Bernard Shaw
But in any event, whether the changed routine is welcome or unwelcome, the point is to notice that for a very large part of our days, we live routinely, which leaves little, if any space for our goals to emerge, develop and become the new reality we want to see.
So where do we go from here?
It’s easy to say “it’s all in your mind”, but that really is the place to start.
If your routines are running your life from dawn til dusk, then every day is going to be the same. But if you want to bring your goals to life, then, somehow you need to disrupt your routines in some way to make space for your goals.
Walk The Right Path
So how about starting with considering whether you are on the right path for the goal(s) you want to achieve?
We all want progress, but if you’re on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.
C. S. Lewis
To do this, start by looking at your daily routines – can you see any activities that are contributing to your goals? If so, how can you increase their frequency or quality?
But more importantly, can you see any behaviours that are actively thwarting your future plans? If so, then this is clearly a warning that you are on the wrong path and the sooner you correct this trajectory the better.
Habits and routines are a huge but also important part of our lives. If we had to think about how to do everything before we did it, we’d go mad, so don’t be too hard on yourself and your habits, but do take the time to find and identify the habits that serve and those that are undoing your good work.
The Unexpected Events
But one final thought on how life will always get in the way of your goals.
It’s not always your habits that will slow or halt your progress to your goals, it is also those unexpected or infrequent things that happen. As I’ve already mentioned, these things can be welcome or unwelcome (a short holiday v an injury and a cold).
This again though is just another way of life getting in the way of your goals, because whilst these events may be infrequent, it’s their very rarity that can cause us to stall, sometimes for long periods of time.
The point is that whether your actions are habitual or as a result of a change to your routine, your mind will always be trying to pull you away from your goals and back towards what it considers comfortable and safe. In other words, the things you always do.
So until you can establish your goal as a new habit (ie, a place of security in your mind) you will continually feel the pull to go and do something else that is more comfortable for you.
You’ve Done It Before
But let’s end on a positive note with a reminder that you’ve overcome your mind’s doggedness to maintain the status quo in the past and you can do it again.
• Every time you’ve said ‘yes’ to an opportunity that scared you.
• That time you went on the Ghost Train and scared yourself silly.
• When you had that job interview and almost didn’t go because you were nervous.
• When you studied hard for that qualification you wanted.
• When you learned to drive, because you really, really wanted it, no matter now scared you felt!
You have hundreds of examples of times when your mind wanted you to stay small, comfortable and safe but you wanted more for yourself.
So you rose above those uncomfortable feelings and kept your goal in mind every day so that your ‘now’ reality grew to include the ‘future’ reality you wanted for yourself.
So when life conspires to get in the way of you achieving your goals, remember that you can make whatever choice you want for yourself. Just keep that choice firmly in mind.
What to do next…
> Read another post – Are Groundhog Days Holding You Back?
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