How To Become Your Best Self
I’m a big fan of affirmations and have been using them on and off for many years. I truly believe they have the power to change the way you think and therefore the way you act. They can also act as a gateway to the person you want to become. The version of yourself that you might consider to be your “best self”.
In practice this might look like the good habits you’re trying to introduce into your life as you simultaneously try to remove the bad habits.
Who Is Your Best Self?
I’ve recently introduced a new affirmation into my daily morning routine, as follows:
“I support my best self every day”
But then one morning as I habitually wrote the words, I thought, but what does that actually mean to me?!
I decided there and then to run with this question and let my thoughts spill out onto the page. What you’ll read below is some of those raw thoughts along with some ideas which I’ve since expanded upon. I hope you find it interesting and useful.
My First Thoughts
I think it means that I try as hard as I can every day to live up to or help my future self – that version of me I’m trying to be.
She’s the person who has achieved the goals I’ve set and is living that dreamed of life. But I know that it won’t happen unless I make a daily contribution now to get the wheels moving in that direction.
What are some specifics? It means not wasting energy on things that don’t matter or can’t be controlled. It’s about carrying out actions today that are aligned with, rather than detrimental to the future self and future life I want to be living.
I know mostly what these actions are, but it’s easy in the moment to let them sink beneath the demands and responsibilities that the day brings, it’s easy to give in to temptation, procrastination, overwhelm and self-pity. It’s easy to wallow in just being average, or even something less that average.
When I’m supporting my best self I’m getting the work of the day done, which doesn’t just mean being a slave to my to-do list, it means more than that, it’s about doing those things and behaving in ways and taking actions that align with and uphold, advocate for and assert my goals.
In this way, today becomes a building block for tomorrow, for my future self, not just a day that I got through. Today has to be a step up in some way (in lots of small ways actually), if I’m to say and live into being the person who is supporting my best self.
It was a good start, but after a few days I knew that these thoughts needed expanding if they were to be meaningful and useful and so I started digging a bit deeper.
Living This Way Is Challenging
It feels like a big ask to live this way and I guess maybe that’s the point.
It’s good to acknowledge that this is not an easy way to live. The desire and the aspiration might be a strong driver, but living up to those aspirations is a daily challenge, well worth it, of course, but nonetheless, it takes a conscious effort.
And quite often, it’s the small things that can so easily take you off course.
• It’s wanting, and then eating the cake, even though I know I’m going to regret it.
• It’s giving into to another episode of Star Trek or The Sewing Bee, instead of picking up a book to read or decluttering a cupboard.
• It’s as simple as sitting when I could be walking.
So what can you do to support and help yourself to become your best self?
Here’s an easy 3-step approach to keeping yourself aligned with your best self.
A Simple Method to Align With Your Best Self
1. Have A Daily Reminder
You need to remind yourself every day of what your goals and aspirations are. I can’t stress how important this is, because life will always get in the way of your goals, whether it’s because of distractions, emergencies, your daily (unhelpful) habits or any number of other things that will pull you off track. So the need to keep your goals front and centre is vital to help pull you back towards your intended direction rather than going in any old direction.
How can you do this? It’s simple. Write out your goals every day if you can, but if you find this too hard, write them out weekly as a minimum.
By doing this you’ll not only be reminded of your intended objective, but it will also bring ideas to mind of next steps as well as helping you re-connect with that feeling of what it will be like to achieve your goals.
2. Be An Action Taker To Move Forward
As I’ve mentioned above, when you start writing out your goals every day (or every week) you will naturally come up with ideas of what to do next. It’s important to firstly capture these actions, but it’s much more important to take action!
That sounds so simplistic, but how often have you had a great idea but then thought ‘I can’t do that now, I’ll do it later’ but then haven’t followed through or worse, completely forgotten what the idea was?!
So get into the habit of prioritising taking action on your ideas quickly so that you get that sense of forward momentum.
3. Priming To Avoid Slipping Back
If you’ve ever felt like you take one step forward followed by two steps back then you need to instigate a priming habit.
In this context, your priming habit should be the system you put in place to avoid undoing the work you’ve already done. By setting up effective routines you can gently or firmly nudge yourself to do the right thing so you are less likely to experience that feeling of inconsistent progress. Be prepared to experiment with this step as you may need to iterate to find the best routines for you.
Here are some examples from my goals:
Goal: Take trips to: London, Seville, Durham, France, Winchester & Bruges.
Priming:
1. Make sure to set aside sufficient time (or annual leave) for each trip.
2. Book well in advance, thereby committing to the trip.
3. Deal with any travel anxiety (I’m not a fan of flying) so as not to talk yourself out of going!
Goal: To declutter at home, to include clothes, nick-nacks, paper piles and electronic storage.
Priming:
1. Have a system for dealing with incoming mail to avoid more piles developing.
2. Note any actions needed when processing incoming mail and put them on my to-do list immediately.
3. For every new item I buy, have a personal rule to declutter at least one old item.
Goal: To get back down to 10 1/2 stone (147lbs) and to get fitter and take more exercise.
Priming:
1. Mealplan for the week ahead and make sure to buy foods consistent with the plan.
2. Keep treats for others out of sight (or don’t have treats at home).
3. Know my weak spots, for example, mid-afternoon cravings for something sugary and have some fruit to hand.
Try doing this exercise for your own goals and habits to see where you could improve your practices and move towards supporting your best self on a daily basis.
None of this is rocket science, but knowing and doing (or not doing, as the case may be) are two very different activities. So remember to apply the three steps:
1. Have a daily reminder of your goals and plans.
2. Take action to move forward.
3. Use priming to avoid slipping back and undoing your good work.
And you can confidently feel that you are supporting your best self every day.
What to do next…
> Read another post – The Messy Middle of Achieving Goals
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