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Lessons I Learned in 2013, Part 2

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7800147562_661f5bd5f9_nThis is part 2 of a two-part review of my life lessons from 2013.  If you haven’t already, you can read part 1 here.  The focus of Part 1 was the personal development I experienced during the year, Part 2 focuses on the challenges I faced during the year and the lessons I learned from those challenges.

If you read my blog or check in to my Facebook page regularly you will already know that in the summer of 2013 I experience two major setbacks.  The first was a car accident that left me unable to drive or be driven with any confidence in my own safety (and the emotional effect this had on me) and the second, my husband having a heart attack.  I was away from my blog and Facebook for quite some time after these events, but eventually I found my way back.  Inevitably life events such as these change and shape us, as they did with me….

I’m stronger than I thought…

…maybe. [Read more…] about Lessons I Learned in 2013, Part 2

The Games We Play!

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4716539083_ddd6c35460_nSometimes we play a game, it goes a bit like this:

One of us (family member or friend) moans or says something negative, or maybe a little unkind (or sometimes very unkind) or maybe just unnecessarily critical.  The words we’ve uttered will have been unconscious, a habit even, but in any event, they will not have done anything to improve our day.  In fact, they have the effect of reducing our own happiness.

So the game then becomes to counter these negative words and/or emotions by coming up with positive things to say about the thing we have just passed comment on.  We must also at least match the number of positive things we say against the number of negative things we have said!

In some ways the game is silly, but it’s also a little bit of fun, especially if you really feel you have nothing good to say about a person or a situation.  When this happens you really have to dig deep to find something positive to say which can result in some random thoughts! [Read more…] about The Games We Play!

With the new day…

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ashfordbeach1

Sometimes the events of our lives can knock the wind from our sails and we’re left wondering what just happened?  It’s at times like these that we need to focus in on the really important things that need our attention in order to get the best possible outcome.

This is where I find myself at the moment.

An unexpected family event.

A need for focus and support.

This blog, my Facebook page and my goals are still important to me and will remain so, but over the next few weeks my blog posts will be short, focused and possibly sporadic while I deal with the events that are unfolding.

I hope you like the quote I’ve chosen for my post today.  It reminds me that strength will come anew with each day for all of us.

 

When Things Go Wrong

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rippleKeeping on plugging at our goals can at times be an uphill struggle.  As we’ve discussed before we can run into negativity and resentment from others, our own mind can try to pull us back as we embark on new and unfamiliar territory, and in general it can just be difficult to find the motivation to keep going when we’re tired, confused and all-done-in!

Against this backdrop, what if our normal day-to-day activities take a turn for the worse too?  How do we find the strength to carry on?

I’ve often felt that as long as one area of my life (one of the “roles” I play) holds together then I can command enough strength from there to carry me through those areas where things are a little tough.  And, having discussed this idea with others, it seems that there is some truth in it.  It appears that where everything around us feels like it’s falling apart, if we can find a little island of solace somewhere amongst the noise and confusion, then this is the place to hold fast, draw comfort from and to use as the starting point for our comeback.

In this respect I used to think very two-dimensionally.  My thinking went along the lines of home-life versus work-life and therefore, as long as one or other of these areas was ticking over nicely, I could cope with the demands thrown at me from the less compliant one at that time.

But maybe this two-dimensional view is too restrictive.  Our lives are intricate and made up of many facets.  We cross into the paths of others on more occasions than we realise, their presence affecting our lives whilst our presence affects their lives also.  And of course we also have our personal goals, which will cover a broad range of activities unique to ourselves. [Read more…] about When Things Go Wrong

How to Deal with Frustration and Negativity

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frustratedDo you ever experience those days where, no matter how hard you work, you’re swimming against the tide? For whatever reason, things which usually run smoothly, people who are usually even-tempered and a delight to be with or technology which usually functions efficiently, all conspire to test your mental fortitude all at the same time? Those little niggles and frustrations, which, cumulated together through the day, become a knot in your stomach, a weight on your shoulders or a mental obstacle which looms shamelessly against the good intentions you have of working on your goals.

Beware…this is the danger zone!  These are the times when stress usually triggers an emotional reaction within us, which, if not called into check, will have us taking the scenic rather than the most direct route to our goals.

It can be tough, after a difficult day at work or looking after the children, to find the energy and impetus to either keep to the straight and narrow: in other words, avoid those things we’ve agreed with ourselves are on their way out of our lives – sweet treats, alcohol, cigarettes, impulse buys etc or on the flipside to make the effort to continue with those things we’ve agreed to introduce into our lives – exercise, more family time, studying, calorie controlling etc. [Read more…] about How to Deal with Frustration and Negativity

Do You Need Motivation?

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do you need motivation

Motivation, or lack of, to be more precise, is cited as a major cause of our inability to reach our goals.  We all feel that we need to be motivated to lose the weight, take the exercise, write the book, save the money etc.  But is this really the case?  Do we need a healthy dose of motivation in order to achieve any of these things?

The difficulty with a lack of motivation is that it can be wrapped in many different guises, and so we just assume that we’re not motivated, rather than thinking that there may be another reason for our lethargy.

Sometimes we just feel overwhelmed with the things we think we have to do and consequently, we fail to make a conscious decision on what we should progress and instead fall into the trap of doing nothing.  Ironically this is also a decision.  We have decided, albeit unconsciously, to do nothing.  Consequently the feeling of overwhelm not only continues, but is further compounded by guilt!

We often feel the pain of failing to make a conscious decision and then bemoan our  inability to move beyond the ‘something’ that is holding us back from taking action.  But what is this ‘something’?  Sometimes we’re not even sure that we know what’s causing the road block.  Maybe it’s tiredness, laziness, resentment (why should I do it, no one else is doing anything), boredom or overwhelm, as described above.  But, there could be many other emotions rattling around our heads, never really making themselves distinct enough for us to deal with directly.  They become a fusion of negative thoughts which ultimately result in inertia. [Read more…] about Do You Need Motivation?