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5 Ways to Deal With Your Worries

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cares 

If we worry, we don’t trust;  if we trust, we don’t worry.  Worry does not empty tomorrow of its grief, but it does empty today of its joy.  James Kurtz.

These are worrying times, if the media are to be believed.  There are wars waging around the world, we’ve witnessed some catastrophic airplane losses in the last few months and world finances still appear to be precarious.

Of course, these are macro-worries, but what about our personal micro-worries?  Unstable or unsatisfactory relationships, job concerns or dissatisfaction, health issues, etc the list can be endless.  So is it any wonder that worrying becomes almost a pastime for so many people?  And then, of course, along with worrying comes the tendency to complain.  This is a tricky one: should we tolerate or disapprove because in some instances complaining is a form of emotional release, particularly when seeking the support of friends or family? [Read more…] about 5 Ways to Deal With Your Worries

Are You the Best Friend You Can Be?

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Ladies Having TeaIn these days of Facebook friends, where people can have thousands of friends viewing and perhaps contributing to their lives, it can be difficult to not only remember, but also to appreciate the real, physical friends that inhabit our day-to-day world.

It’s becoming a bit of a cliché to admonish those of us (yes, I’m included too) who spend too much time on social media at the expense of maintaining our real flesh and blood relationships, but in many cases, social media has in fact provided a means for people to reconnect after years of little or no contact which in most cases is a good thing. [Read more…] about Are You the Best Friend You Can Be?

Getting Over Self Pity

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getting over self pityGetting Over Self Pity

I’ve caught myself out this week…I’ve been caught behaving in a way that my higher self disapproves of, and for very good reasons.   But it’s not as if I’ve become this way on purpose.  Instead, it’s gradually crept up on me, quietly and stealthily and I’ve given in to the feelings it has created without so much as a minor challenge, but the time has come for getting over self pity.

The frustrating thing though is that in response to the feelings that this behaviour has brought about I’ve felt out of control and consequently unhappy.

You see, due to a series of less-than-positive life events, I’ve succumbed to the expectation that someone will come along and rescue me, rather than me taking the initiative and getting over self pity.  In effect, I’ve allowed myself to drift into a thought pattern that fixes me as a victim.

Self Pity and Victim Mentality

Succumbing to victim mentality is a real frustration for me.  Some years ago, I made a promise to myself that I would not attend my personal pity parties and instead I would find solutions to the problems and obstacles that were threatening to stop me living the life I want to lead.

There was a particular incident that led up to this promise which had affected a close member of my family.  I remember thinking at the time that the situation was extremely unfair and that in the future I, or my family would no longer to ‘held hostage’ (this was how I saw it at the time) to the whims of other people or organisations. [Read more…] about Getting Over Self Pity

Lessons in Failure

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FAILIf at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

I have no idea where this adage comes from, but the great thing about this and many other sayings, is that they are usually true!

Unfortunately though, we are taught, either formally or mostly informally that failure is a bad thing, and yet in the view of successful people this just isn’t the case.  You only need look to Thomas Edison’s famous quote:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

for a healthy reminder of the need to try various options regardless of the failure rate, and yet, we persist in holding back on our dreams, for the most part due to the fear of failure.

Wonderful though it is to have a reminder that when we’re knocked back by failure, it is most likely in our interests to get back up and try again, what this saying doesn’t address is the need to be prepared to take action in the first place.  For many people there is much difficulty in making a start on something new without any guarantee of a successful outcome.  But fundamentally, failure to start is the biggest failure:

‘You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try’.   Beverly Sills [Read more…] about Lessons in Failure

With the new day…

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ashfordbeach1

Sometimes the events of our lives can knock the wind from our sails and we’re left wondering what just happened?  It’s at times like these that we need to focus in on the really important things that need our attention in order to get the best possible outcome.

This is where I find myself at the moment.

An unexpected family event.

A need for focus and support.

This blog, my Facebook page and my goals are still important to me and will remain so, but over the next few weeks my blog posts will be short, focused and possibly sporadic while I deal with the events that are unfolding.

I hope you like the quote I’ve chosen for my post today.  It reminds me that strength will come anew with each day for all of us.

 

When Things Go Wrong

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rippleKeeping on plugging at our goals can at times be an uphill struggle.  As we’ve discussed before we can run into negativity and resentment from others, our own mind can try to pull us back as we embark on new and unfamiliar territory, and in general it can just be difficult to find the motivation to keep going when we’re tired, confused and all-done-in!

Against this backdrop, what if our normal day-to-day activities take a turn for the worse too?  How do we find the strength to carry on?

I’ve often felt that as long as one area of my life (one of the “roles” I play) holds together then I can command enough strength from there to carry me through those areas where things are a little tough.  And, having discussed this idea with others, it seems that there is some truth in it.  It appears that where everything around us feels like it’s falling apart, if we can find a little island of solace somewhere amongst the noise and confusion, then this is the place to hold fast, draw comfort from and to use as the starting point for our comeback.

In this respect I used to think very two-dimensionally.  My thinking went along the lines of home-life versus work-life and therefore, as long as one or other of these areas was ticking over nicely, I could cope with the demands thrown at me from the less compliant one at that time.

But maybe this two-dimensional view is too restrictive.  Our lives are intricate and made up of many facets.  We cross into the paths of others on more occasions than we realise, their presence affecting our lives whilst our presence affects their lives also.  And of course we also have our personal goals, which will cover a broad range of activities unique to ourselves. [Read more…] about When Things Go Wrong