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Labels and Definitions: Do They Serve You Well?

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windowDo you know who you are and fully recognise the real person who lurks inside?

Think about this for a moment and ask yourself ‘do my actions reflect the person I really am?’

I was thinking about this view because we are so fond of putting labels on ourselves, whether they are good or bad, and wondered to what extent we live up (or down) to these definitions.  I was also thinking about the old adage that ‘actions speak louder than words’ and I am sure there have been times when you’ve witnessed a disparity in what somebody says and what he then does.  But of course, we can be, and sometimes are, all guilty of this trait.

I wonder why this is?  Is it because we want to impress someone or maybe we want to be liked or to fit in?  Or maybe we just don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do, in which case, it wouldn’t be self-evident that we were in fact not acting consistently with the person we believe ourselves to be.

Placing labels on ourselves is normal and obviously helpful in allowing us to define who we believe we are to other people.  But let’s just have a look at the idea of definitions. [Read more…] about Labels and Definitions: Do They Serve You Well?

When Things Go Wrong

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rippleKeeping on plugging at our goals can at times be an uphill struggle.  As we’ve discussed before we can run into negativity and resentment from others, our own mind can try to pull us back as we embark on new and unfamiliar territory, and in general it can just be difficult to find the motivation to keep going when we’re tired, confused and all-done-in!

Against this backdrop, what if our normal day-to-day activities take a turn for the worse too?  How do we find the strength to carry on?

I’ve often felt that as long as one area of my life (one of the “roles” I play) holds together then I can command enough strength from there to carry me through those areas where things are a little tough.  And, having discussed this idea with others, it seems that there is some truth in it.  It appears that where everything around us feels like it’s falling apart, if we can find a little island of solace somewhere amongst the noise and confusion, then this is the place to hold fast, draw comfort from and to use as the starting point for our comeback.

In this respect I used to think very two-dimensionally.  My thinking went along the lines of home-life versus work-life and therefore, as long as one or other of these areas was ticking over nicely, I could cope with the demands thrown at me from the less compliant one at that time.

But maybe this two-dimensional view is too restrictive.  Our lives are intricate and made up of many facets.  We cross into the paths of others on more occasions than we realise, their presence affecting our lives whilst our presence affects their lives also.  And of course we also have our personal goals, which will cover a broad range of activities unique to ourselves. [Read more…] about When Things Go Wrong

Ratchet It Up!

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ratchetYears ago I worked with someone who frequently used the phrase “ratchet it up!”.  I remember one particular meeting when we were discussing new skills, knowledge and methods his team would need to learn and adopt in order to successfully install and implement a new set of software programs which would, if used properly, revolutionise the way his team currently did their work.

During the discussion Bill (not his real name), kept reminding us that it wasn’t just the importance of the new software that needed to be discussed, but also the need to “ratchet up the skills of his team”!

He was completely right of course.  As the old adage goes, ‘garbage in, garbage out’ – if his team weren’t appropriately trained and re-skilled, then the new software would be as useless as if it had never been introduced in the first place.

But the real message from this little story is my appreciation for Bill’s foresight.   Too often, when new processes, software, skills etc are required it’s often assumed that people will acquire the knowledge through a process of osmosis, and to some degree this view may be correct; but often, even though we may pick up new skills ‘on the job’ this only allows us to learn to the extent that our co-workers have the required knowledge or it relies on our dedication in being prepared to pick up the relevant book.

Unfortunately though, this situation will leave us in the classic situation whereby we fail to realise what we don’t know!  It’s a challenge because if we don’t know that we don’t know, why would we go looking?!  And yet, even if we were the best at what we did, we still wouldn’t know all there was to know about our particular field of interest. [Read more…] about Ratchet It Up!

The Quote Series: 5 Quotes to Live By

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stopnotToday I’m taking a little delve into my quotes book and have picked out five quotes which I personally find inspiring.  I hope you like them too!

Accept responsibility for your life.  Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.  Les Brown.

How often do we take personal responsibility for what happens to us?  Not just in the sense of wanting to be successful, but in the broader sense of looking at our immediate or wider circumstances?  If we’re facing a problem, do we look at it and wonder to ourselves what part have I played in this?  How could I have contributed to the circumstances that have created this experience that I am now living?

Take some time with this concept, because the more we ponder, absorb and accept its true meaning, the more freedom we will experience. [Read more…] about The Quote Series: 5 Quotes to Live By

You’ll See It When You Believe It!

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bungeeBelieving in our own ability to achieve our lifetime goals is an assertion that most people will claim to have, however few will actually show their belief in themselves by taking thoughtful, deliberate action and moving themselves towards their desired outcomes in a persistent manner.

It seems that a lot of people think that belief is secondary, that they will “believe it when they see it”, but unfortunately, this puts the success equation the wrong way around, because, in order to achieve our goals we must believe in our ability to succeed in our plans.  In other words, we need to be able to accept that we will “see it when we believe it”!

Seeing it when we believe it is one of the reasons goal setting is important as it helps to equip us with a vision of our future, and if we can visualise our future, it gives us something tangible to work towards and creates a possible reality that we could manifest through action. [Read more…] about You’ll See It When You Believe It!

Is Your Reality Shifting? How To Live With Change

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How To Live With Change

Do you profess to like change, or does change fill you with dread?  I guess, your answer would be, “it depends”, which of course it does.  It depends on the situation we currently find ourselves in – good, bad or indifferent, according to our own expectations; or, it depends on the area of our lives that’s facing the change as we may be more amenable to changes in, say, the workplace than in our personal lives; or maybe it depends on whether it is expected or unexpected change and how much control we believe we’ll have over the results of the change.

But, we only usually want things to change because we want some kind of improvement.  After all if everything was exactly as we wanted it, why would we seek change?  Sydney J Harris says:

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

An interesting thought in which I see some truth, although of course, application of this theory is impossible!  If we want to see changes in our lives, then by definition, we must change something.  The trick, I guess, is in making an acceptable change, knowing, that in making a change, other reactions will come into play.  This is like the cogs in a watch, with each turn of the cog pushing the next one along in order to initiate the desired result (the accurate display of the time). [Read more…] about Is Your Reality Shifting? How To Live With Change