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Dealing With Criticism

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Dealing with criticism is difficult.  It can cause us unhappiness and distress.  In my post today I’ve taken a fictional case study approach to exploring this area.

Marie sat opposite me sipping a cup of coffee, her eyes red and puffy from crying which, for now, had at least stopped.

“I’ve struggled to deal with criticism all my life.” She told me.

“Whether this was well-meant in the form of so-called (she highlighted the words) constructive criticism or a deliberate insult seems to have been irrelevant. Instead my automatic response was, and is, always to take it to heart and then to make the mental leap from initial indignation to upset and anguish.”

The tears threatened the edges of her mascaraed eyes once again…

“It’s as if I can’t rationalise what I’m being told in the moment and either can’t accept it as a fair point or I’m unable to come back with sensible reasons as to why it’s just not true.”

“But then, I can’t deny how, when I felt the criticism was undeserved, it has fuelled in me a desire to show the culprit that I am not guilty of the so called misdemeanour. This in turn has made me very determined and consequently made me push hard against my perceived barriers.” [Read more…] about Dealing With Criticism

How I’m Using Affirmations To Become The Real Me

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journeyThe thing I love about affirmations is the way they subtlety allow new and empowering truths to embed themselves into my mind. In using them, I gently become the person I want to be, or rather, the person I know I am. I’m continually surprised when a new behaviour naturally makes an appearance and I realise, on reflection, that I’ve been affirming it as part of my daily routine!

The adage goes that we need to take some time to find ourselves. We need to take time to find out what really makes us happy, what makes us sad, to find out where our passions lie, for work, for love, even for food (maybe this one is easier!). But is this really true? Do we really need to find ourselves?

I think there’s another way to think about this and that’s to consider the things we know, or better put, believe about ourselves. For example, if I believe that I am a shy person, is this really true? Will setting out on a journey of self-discovery enlighten me sufficiently to categorically confirm that I am indeed a shy person? Furthermore, even if I am able to determine that this is the case, will I like what I discover or will I be inclined to make changes so that I am no longer a shy person? Maybe being a shy person doesn’t sit well with my aspirations and I therefore perceive that there is a need for change. [Read more…] about How I’m Using Affirmations To Become The Real Me

You Have Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty of these every year!

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dolphinEight thousand, seven hundred and sixty.

Written like this, it sounds like a big number, maybe like there’s a lot of it. But if that’s the case, why do I never feel like I have enough time? 8,760 – that’s one year’s worth of hours! Where do they all go?

Is this your experience too? Whether I’m working or relaxing, there never seems to be enough time to fit everything that I want to do into my day. I always seem to end up rushing around and then come the end of the day I’m wondering what, if anything, productive or goal-oriented I’ve achieved.

Of course, it’s not that I can’t remember what I’ve been doing during the day, but sometimes I’m disappointed to conclude that the things which have been crossed off the list weren’t that important in the scheme of things anyway, and, to make things worse, they’ve not really contributed to my long-term plans.

I’ve recently gone through a process of reviewing and renewing my goals in an effort to gain more clarity and focus. This has been a very worthwhile use of time (thankfully!) and I now feel clear on my business goals for the next 3 -6 months. [Read more…] about You Have Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty of these every year!

I did that!

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This is Mau!

I sat back, content and smug, and continued to stare at the website I’d been working on for the last three weeks.  A ‘cheshire cat’ grin tugged the corners of my mouth upwards as I thought to myself: ‘I did that!’.

Welcome to my new website, it’s been three weeks in the making, thanks to my very limited knowledge of anything techy, but here it is! Working on my website has got me thinking about how far I’ve come since I started this journey…

Do you ever take the time to look back at your achievements? I must admit that this isn’t something I do very often, preferring instead to stay as focussed as possible on the journey ahead. This attitude of not looking back is clearly supported by a number of successful people also, as there are many relevant quotes out there and this one from Zig Ziglar springs to mind immediately:

“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way!”

Succinct and to the point! [Read more…] about I did that!

Believe in your Imagination

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Believe In Your Imagination

Oprah Winfrey once said:

“Create the highest, grandest vision possible for your life, because you become what you believe.”

I guess that’s easy for Oprah to say, after all she has achieved the most stunning success in her life, through TV, online and writing books. Somehow it seems easier to envision success if we’ve already had some experience of it. Can you see yourself…

…with the partner of your dreams

…a lithe and healthy body

…a holiday home or new car

…being the head of your organisation

…and so on…? [Read more…] about Believe in your Imagination

5 Ways to Deal With Your Worries

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If we worry, we don’t trust;  if we trust, we don’t worry.  Worry does not empty tomorrow of its grief, but it does empty today of its joy.  James Kurtz.

These are worrying times, if the media are to be believed.  There are wars waging around the world, we’ve witnessed some catastrophic airplane losses in the last few months and world finances still appear to be precarious.

Of course, these are macro-worries, but what about our personal micro-worries?  Unstable or unsatisfactory relationships, job concerns or dissatisfaction, health issues, etc the list can be endless.  So is it any wonder that worrying becomes almost a pastime for so many people?  And then, of course, along with worrying comes the tendency to complain.  This is a tricky one: should we tolerate or disapprove because in some instances complaining is a form of emotional release, particularly when seeking the support of friends or family? [Read more…] about 5 Ways to Deal With Your Worries