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Why it’s Good to be Making Messy Progress!

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8265824612_b77814f5f5Set the kind of goals that will make something of you to achieve them.  Jim Rohn.

When we set goals, and then set about achieving them, we usually feel a certain amount of resistance at some point into the proceedings because we will be stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zones.  This is a natural feeling, although for a lot of people, the experience can be so uncomfortable that they give up on their goal believing that they are not doing the right thing for themselves (it just feels all wrong, they say).  However, this just isn’t the case.  As Jim Rohn points out in the quote above, in progressing and achieving our goals, we will actually become a different person.  We will know more, we will have experienced more, we may have had to make some tough decisions about things which need to be dropped from our lives etc.  Is it any wonder then that we initially feel uncomfortable with the changes?

As we know, change of any kind can be difficult to accept and then to integrate into our lives.  Sometimes change is imposed upon us, and whilst we may fight for things to go back to how they were, this might not be possible.  There could be unwelcome changes in the workplace resulting in a new boss or a change in our responsibilities, perhaps the children leave home allowing us far more time to ourselves and it feels strange, or maybe the perfect relationship we thought we had with our partner isn’t what it seemed and suddenly and unexpectedly it’s over. [Read more…] about Why it’s Good to be Making Messy Progress!

Get Real!

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Get Real and Be Your Authentic Self

Have you ever heard the phrase about ‘being true to yourself’ or ‘acting authentically’?  When I was younger, I was confused by the idea of acting authentically.  I didn’t really understand the meaning, let alone know whether I was someone who acted authentically.

As time has passed, I’ve come to understand the phrase and, more importantly, its importance to our personal sense of wellbeing.  However, living up to the condition of being my authentic self is still something which often eludes me.  And I think it’s fair to say that consistently acting authentically is something that a lot of people struggle to achieve.

Strictly speaking, living authentically would mean that we would behave exactly in line with the beliefs and values we hold.  But, in actuality, this probably isn’t possible if we want to live a life where we can be accepted within a group whose beliefs and values might be slightly different to our own.  As we know, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but sometimes, when that opinion is different to those around us, we keep quiet in order to maintain the peace and remain part of the group.  In this situation, I guess being part of the group means more to us than venting an unwelcome opinion. [Read more…] about Get Real!

Lessons I Learned in 2013, Part 2

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7800147562_661f5bd5f9_nThis is part 2 of a two-part review of my life lessons from 2013.  If you haven’t already, you can read part 1 here.  The focus of Part 1 was the personal development I experienced during the year, Part 2 focuses on the challenges I faced during the year and the lessons I learned from those challenges.

If you read my blog or check in to my Facebook page regularly you will already know that in the summer of 2013 I experience two major setbacks.  The first was a car accident that left me unable to drive or be driven with any confidence in my own safety (and the emotional effect this had on me) and the second, my husband having a heart attack.  I was away from my blog and Facebook for quite some time after these events, but eventually I found my way back.  Inevitably life events such as these change and shape us, as they did with me….

I’m stronger than I thought…

…maybe. [Read more…] about Lessons I Learned in 2013, Part 2

The Games We Play!

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4716539083_ddd6c35460_nSometimes we play a game, it goes a bit like this:

One of us (family member or friend) moans or says something negative, or maybe a little unkind (or sometimes very unkind) or maybe just unnecessarily critical.  The words we’ve uttered will have been unconscious, a habit even, but in any event, they will not have done anything to improve our day.  In fact, they have the effect of reducing our own happiness.

So the game then becomes to counter these negative words and/or emotions by coming up with positive things to say about the thing we have just passed comment on.  We must also at least match the number of positive things we say against the number of negative things we have said!

In some ways the game is silly, but it’s also a little bit of fun, especially if you really feel you have nothing good to say about a person or a situation.  When this happens you really have to dig deep to find something positive to say which can result in some random thoughts! [Read more…] about The Games We Play!

With the new day…

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ashfordbeach1

Sometimes the events of our lives can knock the wind from our sails and we’re left wondering what just happened?  It’s at times like these that we need to focus in on the really important things that need our attention in order to get the best possible outcome.

This is where I find myself at the moment.

An unexpected family event.

A need for focus and support.

This blog, my Facebook page and my goals are still important to me and will remain so, but over the next few weeks my blog posts will be short, focused and possibly sporadic while I deal with the events that are unfolding.

I hope you like the quote I’ve chosen for my post today.  It reminds me that strength will come anew with each day for all of us.

 

When Things Go Wrong

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rippleKeeping on plugging at our goals can at times be an uphill struggle.  As we’ve discussed before we can run into negativity and resentment from others, our own mind can try to pull us back as we embark on new and unfamiliar territory, and in general it can just be difficult to find the motivation to keep going when we’re tired, confused and all-done-in!

Against this backdrop, what if our normal day-to-day activities take a turn for the worse too?  How do we find the strength to carry on?

I’ve often felt that as long as one area of my life (one of the “roles” I play) holds together then I can command enough strength from there to carry me through those areas where things are a little tough.  And, having discussed this idea with others, it seems that there is some truth in it.  It appears that where everything around us feels like it’s falling apart, if we can find a little island of solace somewhere amongst the noise and confusion, then this is the place to hold fast, draw comfort from and to use as the starting point for our comeback.

In this respect I used to think very two-dimensionally.  My thinking went along the lines of home-life versus work-life and therefore, as long as one or other of these areas was ticking over nicely, I could cope with the demands thrown at me from the less compliant one at that time.

But maybe this two-dimensional view is too restrictive.  Our lives are intricate and made up of many facets.  We cross into the paths of others on more occasions than we realise, their presence affecting our lives whilst our presence affects their lives also.  And of course we also have our personal goals, which will cover a broad range of activities unique to ourselves. [Read more…] about When Things Go Wrong