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failure

Knowing Then What I Know Now!

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audiLife would be so much easier if we had all the information we needed before we embarked on a new project, entered into a new relationship, made an important financial decision or even accepted that new job, don’t you think?  But unfortunately, life just isn’t like that.

Instead, we start and stop new projects, often not seeing them through to fruition, fall in love with the person of our dreams only to discover a few months later that they were never looking for a commitment anyway (or so they say…), buy a new car and then breakdown just days after the warranty has expired or accept a great new job and learn too late that our new boss is somewhat of a narcissist!  Does any of this sound familiar? [Read more…] about Knowing Then What I Know Now!

Failure is a Necessity!

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Failure Is A Necessity!

Some of my most popular Facebook updates recently have been around the perception of fear.  It seems that many people are fearful of starting a new venture.  Taking steps outside our comfort zones can create anxiety and distress, and the further we wander from the perceived boundaries of our comfort zones, the worse this anxiety becomes.

In today’s post I’m going to take a look at some of the fears that may be holding us back from reaching or even starting our goals.

I guess one of the major reasons we’re afraid to fail is because we think we’ll look stupid – to others, but, more importantly, to ourselves.  For many of us, we tend to be our harshest critic and not only berate ourselves internally with tough and unkind words, but often we go on to verbalise not only our dislike of our failure to those around us, but also our dislike of ourselves for having failed.  In doing so we ensure that we have garnered support for the critical bombardment with which we are punishing ourselves.  In this context, is it any wonder that we fear starting a new project which could end in failure? [Read more…] about Failure is a Necessity!

Lessons in Failure

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FAILIf at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

I have no idea where this adage comes from, but the great thing about this and many other sayings, is that they are usually true!

Unfortunately though, we are taught, either formally or mostly informally that failure is a bad thing, and yet in the view of successful people this just isn’t the case.  You only need look to Thomas Edison’s famous quote:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

for a healthy reminder of the need to try various options regardless of the failure rate, and yet, we persist in holding back on our dreams, for the most part due to the fear of failure.

Wonderful though it is to have a reminder that when we’re knocked back by failure, it is most likely in our interests to get back up and try again, what this saying doesn’t address is the need to be prepared to take action in the first place.  For many people there is much difficulty in making a start on something new without any guarantee of a successful outcome.  But fundamentally, failure to start is the biggest failure:

‘You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try’.   Beverly Sills [Read more…] about Lessons in Failure

The Quote Series: Why It’s Good To Be Self-Disciplined

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cakeThe word ‘discipline’ can have many negative connotations.  We can associate it with being restricted in some way or being prevented from doing that which we want to do, it can also be associated with corporal punishment and therefore with pain.  Is it any wonder then that today’s society is perceived as lacking the discipline of our forebears?

Nowadays we are perceived as a generation of people who, through lack of discipline or knowledge or peer and/or media pressure seek instant gratification, forgoing the foresight to assess the results of our current actions on our future selves.

Maybe our society, in an effort to ‘be all things to all men’ has become too liberal, or maybe we’ve just forgotten the benefits of a disciplined life and the long term advantages this can have for us, or, by contrast, the difficulties which await us in the future should we choose to live an un-disciplined life now.

Below I’ve picked out a few quotes which delve into the subject of discipline, with an emphasis on why it’s so important.  A key concept to remember though is that discipline isn’t something we ‘do’ to other people.  Instead, the emphasis is on self-discipline, which, in time sends out a clear message to those around us about our values and underlies our personal integrity.  It is also likely that our self-discipline will ‘rub off’ on those around us, especially our children who, of course, learn from our actions. [Read more…] about The Quote Series: Why It’s Good To Be Self-Disciplined

When Things Go Wrong

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rippleKeeping on plugging at our goals can at times be an uphill struggle.  As we’ve discussed before we can run into negativity and resentment from others, our own mind can try to pull us back as we embark on new and unfamiliar territory, and in general it can just be difficult to find the motivation to keep going when we’re tired, confused and all-done-in!

Against this backdrop, what if our normal day-to-day activities take a turn for the worse too?  How do we find the strength to carry on?

I’ve often felt that as long as one area of my life (one of the “roles” I play) holds together then I can command enough strength from there to carry me through those areas where things are a little tough.  And, having discussed this idea with others, it seems that there is some truth in it.  It appears that where everything around us feels like it’s falling apart, if we can find a little island of solace somewhere amongst the noise and confusion, then this is the place to hold fast, draw comfort from and to use as the starting point for our comeback.

In this respect I used to think very two-dimensionally.  My thinking went along the lines of home-life versus work-life and therefore, as long as one or other of these areas was ticking over nicely, I could cope with the demands thrown at me from the less compliant one at that time.

But maybe this two-dimensional view is too restrictive.  Our lives are intricate and made up of many facets.  We cross into the paths of others on more occasions than we realise, their presence affecting our lives whilst our presence affects their lives also.  And of course we also have our personal goals, which will cover a broad range of activities unique to ourselves. [Read more…] about When Things Go Wrong

Ratchet It Up!

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ratchetYears ago I worked with someone who frequently used the phrase “ratchet it up!”.  I remember one particular meeting when we were discussing new skills, knowledge and methods his team would need to learn and adopt in order to successfully install and implement a new set of software programs which would, if used properly, revolutionise the way his team currently did their work.

During the discussion Bill (not his real name), kept reminding us that it wasn’t just the importance of the new software that needed to be discussed, but also the need to “ratchet up the skills of his team”!

He was completely right of course.  As the old adage goes, ‘garbage in, garbage out’ – if his team weren’t appropriately trained and re-skilled, then the new software would be as useless as if it had never been introduced in the first place.

But the real message from this little story is my appreciation for Bill’s foresight.   Too often, when new processes, software, skills etc are required it’s often assumed that people will acquire the knowledge through a process of osmosis, and to some degree this view may be correct; but often, even though we may pick up new skills ‘on the job’ this only allows us to learn to the extent that our co-workers have the required knowledge or it relies on our dedication in being prepared to pick up the relevant book.

Unfortunately though, this situation will leave us in the classic situation whereby we fail to realise what we don’t know!  It’s a challenge because if we don’t know that we don’t know, why would we go looking?!  And yet, even if we were the best at what we did, we still wouldn’t know all there was to know about our particular field of interest. [Read more…] about Ratchet It Up!