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happiness

I’m Ready…!

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2148690460_8a9ffb206a_nToday I’m taking a light hearted look at being ready to strike out on our goals.

Quite often this is the most difficult step for most people to take because they know only fear.  Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the unknown.  But whoever we are and wherever we live, these fears are something we all experience…or maybe not…!

“I’m ready, I’m ready…”,  sings SpongeBob Square Pants, the happy little guy from the popular cartoon series of the same name.  If you’ve never seen the cartoon, then this little animated sponge character is the most happy-go-lucky creature!  He’s always willing to help, always goes the extra mile and is always willing to give new things a go!  He works hard and plays hard and his favourite activity is jelly-fishing!

On the negative side though, Spongebob is also naïve and has a childlike outlook.

But, there’s a lot we could learn from this character’s way of life, because we often feel that we are ready to make a change, we talk about making the change, we challenge others to make the change with us, but, when it comes to stepping out, we freeze. [Read more…] about I’m Ready…!

The Games We Play!

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4716539083_ddd6c35460_nSometimes we play a game, it goes a bit like this:

One of us (family member or friend) moans or says something negative, or maybe a little unkind (or sometimes very unkind) or maybe just unnecessarily critical.  The words we’ve uttered will have been unconscious, a habit even, but in any event, they will not have done anything to improve our day.  In fact, they have the effect of reducing our own happiness.

So the game then becomes to counter these negative words and/or emotions by coming up with positive things to say about the thing we have just passed comment on.  We must also at least match the number of positive things we say against the number of negative things we have said!

In some ways the game is silly, but it’s also a little bit of fun, especially if you really feel you have nothing good to say about a person or a situation.  When this happens you really have to dig deep to find something positive to say which can result in some random thoughts! [Read more…] about The Games We Play!

When Things Go Wrong

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rippleKeeping on plugging at our goals can at times be an uphill struggle.  As we’ve discussed before we can run into negativity and resentment from others, our own mind can try to pull us back as we embark on new and unfamiliar territory, and in general it can just be difficult to find the motivation to keep going when we’re tired, confused and all-done-in!

Against this backdrop, what if our normal day-to-day activities take a turn for the worse too?  How do we find the strength to carry on?

I’ve often felt that as long as one area of my life (one of the “roles” I play) holds together then I can command enough strength from there to carry me through those areas where things are a little tough.  And, having discussed this idea with others, it seems that there is some truth in it.  It appears that where everything around us feels like it’s falling apart, if we can find a little island of solace somewhere amongst the noise and confusion, then this is the place to hold fast, draw comfort from and to use as the starting point for our comeback.

In this respect I used to think very two-dimensionally.  My thinking went along the lines of home-life versus work-life and therefore, as long as one or other of these areas was ticking over nicely, I could cope with the demands thrown at me from the less compliant one at that time.

But maybe this two-dimensional view is too restrictive.  Our lives are intricate and made up of many facets.  We cross into the paths of others on more occasions than we realise, their presence affecting our lives whilst our presence affects their lives also.  And of course we also have our personal goals, which will cover a broad range of activities unique to ourselves. [Read more…] about When Things Go Wrong

Is Your Reality Shifting? How To Live With Change

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How To Live With Change

Do you profess to like change, or does change fill you with dread?  I guess, your answer would be, “it depends”, which of course it does.  It depends on the situation we currently find ourselves in – good, bad or indifferent, according to our own expectations; or, it depends on the area of our lives that’s facing the change as we may be more amenable to changes in, say, the workplace than in our personal lives; or maybe it depends on whether it is expected or unexpected change and how much control we believe we’ll have over the results of the change.

But, we only usually want things to change because we want some kind of improvement.  After all if everything was exactly as we wanted it, why would we seek change?  Sydney J Harris says:

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

An interesting thought in which I see some truth, although of course, application of this theory is impossible!  If we want to see changes in our lives, then by definition, we must change something.  The trick, I guess, is in making an acceptable change, knowing, that in making a change, other reactions will come into play.  This is like the cogs in a watch, with each turn of the cog pushing the next one along in order to initiate the desired result (the accurate display of the time). [Read more…] about Is Your Reality Shifting? How To Live With Change

Should you control your reactions?

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familyEverything you see happening is the consequence of that which you are.  Dr David Hawkins.

This quote appeared on a Facebook page I follow a little while ago.  It’s a very succinct quote which covers a huge area of our lives and I think warrants exploring a little deeper, as its true meaning can be difficult to understand and most importantly, to accept.

In essence, what this quote is telling us is that we are responsible for all the things we experience in our lives now, have experienced in the past and will have and experience in the future.  No matter what has happened to us right up until this point, good or bad, we are responsible.  Harsh, eh?  After all, there will be things that have happened to us over which we had no control.  Examples where we may not feel any responsibility could be a car accident where the other driver was at fault, or the death of a loved one.

In these examples it’s difficult to see how we could be responsible for the outcome, but this isn’t really what the quote is trying to convey to us.  The reality is that in whatever situation we find ourselves, we are responsible for our reaction, and that’s it, in a nutshell.

There’s a further difficulty with this concept and that is that we believe that our reactions are justifiable, and this may be true, but, the point we often miss is that our reactions will create our ongoing reality.  To put this another way, the thing we need to understand is that we are our behaviour, which is the same as saying we are how we react.

But, just to confuse things a little further, believing our reactions to be justifiable doesn’t mean that those on the receiving end have to or will accept them in the way we intended.  That’s down to their perception!  If you think back I’m sure you will have experienced situations where misunderstandings arose between yourself and someone else because others’ perceptions of our behaviour may not be in line with what we intended for them to understand from our personal conduct.  Frankly, it all sounds like a nightmare!

Take a look at this simple multiple choice question, and choose which response you would be most likely to follow: [Read more…] about Should you control your reactions?

Be Careful What You Wish For!

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fernIn planning today’s blog post, two quotes kept coming to mind:

Wherever you go, there you are.  Unknown, and,

Eighty percent of success is showing up.  Woody Allen

It seems to me that whilst each of these quotes are intertwined, there can be some very negative consequences of not considering the impact each has on the other.

Taking Woody Allen’s quote, you may be wondering who should turn up?  And of course, the answer is ‘me’, but I wonder if that would really be worthwhile if ‘you are everywhere you go’, and that is what I want to explore in today’s blog post.

Wouldn’t it be great to achieve the success we want overnight?  To wake up one morning and all our money worries had gone, our relationships with our families and friends were perfect, our abs were perfectly toned and the sun was always shining!  Unfortunately this perfect world doesn’t exist, although an approximation is achievable provided we ‘show up’ and do the work.

Let’s look at a couple of examples.

If we turn up at the door of a new relationship with all our baggage from previous unsuccessful relationships, what do you think the chances are of this new relationship lasting? [Read more…] about Be Careful What You Wish For!