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5 Ways You Are Cheating Your Future Self

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There’s a price to pay for everything. Every choice and action we make, along with every action we choose not to take we are giving up something else in that moment. This is the price we must all pay.

Sometimes when we pay the price, it is an immediate trade off, for example, when we literally hand over money for the new jacket we’ve just bought. This type of decision is the easy, obvious and tangible where the effect is in the now.

But what of those decisions we make where the trade-off isn’t tangible…at least, not now. Instead we will see the effects of our choices (actions and lack of action) in the distant future.

There is often a tendency to opt for a so-called ‘easy life’ by always putting off the inevitable work. The problem is that we fail to see that even in the mundane there is work to be done to stave off the long-term effects of short term gratification. Whether we like it or not, if we don’t do what what’s necessary in the moment, we will pay the price in the future.

As they say, ‘youth is wasted on the young’ and nowhere is this more apparent than in the short-term decisions made with no view to the future. But unfortunately, it’s not just the ‘young’, as this tendency for short term decision making can continue well beyond our youth.

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Throw the instructions away!

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fingerideaAre you one of those people who enjoys reading the instructions that come with a piece of put-together-at-home furniture or the instructions that tell you how to get the best out of your new phone?  It seems to me that we either fall into the category of feeling that to read the instructions is a necessity that will save time in the long term (and in my experience I think the numbers of these people rank at the lower end of the scale), or, are you like most people who throw the instructions away and just dive headlong into the task in the belief that you know best anyway?!

Three hours later when you’ve created a wobbly table and have half a dozen screws left over, you step back and look at your efforts and wonder why they sell such shoddy furniture!

But why do we do this?  [Read more…] about Throw the instructions away!

To Give or Not To Give – A True Story

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homeless1I’ve read that there is good evidence to support the premise that if you give to others in some way, it will enhance your own wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of the receiver.  On a purely common sense level, I have to agree with this because I seem to experience gratification when I give to someone and particularly so if I give to someone who I am very unlikely to see again (in other words, (s)he will have no way of repaying me).  I can float through the rest of the day when I feel that I have been kind and so the positives for me far outweigh the gift given.

I’m not sure what the science or psychology is behind this personal reaction (and really, I’m not that concerned to understand it), but I am the first to admit that I feel so much better about myself if I’ve been able to help in some way as opposed to the other option where I feel guilt for neglecting to help when I know I probably could have done so.

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Who are you hiding?

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maskI wonder why it takes us so long to finally acknowledge and allow the ‘real’ person within us to come forward?  Even more perplexing is why some of us never allow that person to come forward?  It’s a very, very personal condition, not least because from the outside most people wouldn’t know that the person they interact with is maintaining a façade.  This façade could be quite thin, maybe it’s the ‘professional face’ we keep on in a work environment or at the other extreme, there could be a thick veil of concealment through which the external observer cannot pry.

It’s natural to assume that if someone is concealing their real character that their personality or their intentions must be somewhat shady.  But, are there ever any good reasons why someone should conceal their true character? [Read more…] about Who are you hiding?

Lessons in Failure

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FAILIf at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.

I have no idea where this adage comes from, but the great thing about this and many other sayings, is that they are usually true!

Unfortunately though, we are taught, either formally or mostly informally that failure is a bad thing, and yet in the view of successful people this just isn’t the case.  You only need look to Thomas Edison’s famous quote:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

for a healthy reminder of the need to try various options regardless of the failure rate, and yet, we persist in holding back on our dreams, for the most part due to the fear of failure.

Wonderful though it is to have a reminder that when we’re knocked back by failure, it is most likely in our interests to get back up and try again, what this saying doesn’t address is the need to be prepared to take action in the first place.  For many people there is much difficulty in making a start on something new without any guarantee of a successful outcome.  But fundamentally, failure to start is the biggest failure:

‘You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try’.   Beverly Sills [Read more…] about Lessons in Failure

The Quote Series: Why It’s Good To Be Self-Disciplined

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cakeThe word ‘discipline’ can have many negative connotations.  We can associate it with being restricted in some way or being prevented from doing that which we want to do, it can also be associated with corporal punishment and therefore with pain.  Is it any wonder then that today’s society is perceived as lacking the discipline of our forebears?

Nowadays we are perceived as a generation of people who, through lack of discipline or knowledge or peer and/or media pressure seek instant gratification, forgoing the foresight to assess the results of our current actions on our future selves.

Maybe our society, in an effort to ‘be all things to all men’ has become too liberal, or maybe we’ve just forgotten the benefits of a disciplined life and the long term advantages this can have for us, or, by contrast, the difficulties which await us in the future should we choose to live an un-disciplined life now.

Below I’ve picked out a few quotes which delve into the subject of discipline, with an emphasis on why it’s so important.  A key concept to remember though is that discipline isn’t something we ‘do’ to other people.  Instead, the emphasis is on self-discipline, which, in time sends out a clear message to those around us about our values and underlies our personal integrity.  It is also likely that our self-discipline will ‘rub off’ on those around us, especially our children who, of course, learn from our actions. [Read more…] about The Quote Series: Why It’s Good To Be Self-Disciplined