Lessons I Learned in 2013, Part 1

My goodbyes to 2013 were bitter-sweet.  It was a year of much change for me, both good and challenging, and I wanted to write about the things I’ve learned from a year that has allowed me huge personal growth whilst also testing my resolve with huge personal challenges.

This blog is in two parts as there was quite a lot to say and today focuses on personal growth.

If you want to learn, teach

I have no idea where this saying comes from, but this year it has really become true for me.  I’m not suggesting for a moment that I’m a teacher of course, but, through the process of writing on my blog, my understanding of my own personal philosophy has become clearer and clearer.

There’s no doubt that in trying to explain new (to me) or complex ideas that you really need to understand what you’re writing about or it makes no sense!

By writing my thoughts on a particular idea or philosophy I have also found that I have become more resolute in the pursuit of that particular characteristic in my own personal performance and therefore in wanting it to become part of my authentic personality.  I think for the most part, I probably knew that I was ‘this’ or ‘that’ kind of person at heart, but I wasn’t actually living authentically, which for me means living in alignment with my true beliefs.  Having said that, it’s not always easy to live to your true beliefs as sometimes these will not be the ‘norm’ of the majority and you can therefore feel isolated or a bit weird!

I’ve had some real a-ha moments in 2013, times when I’ve been writing and suddenly the idea has really taken hold in my brain and it’s as if someone else is writing.  It’s a great feeling!  Some of these ‘a-has’ are mentioned below whilst other ideas are still developing and will probably be written about in the future.

Accountability

I’ve written about personal and public accountability in my blog in a few different settings, but for me, it was making a decision to ‘go public’ on my goals that brought me to where I am today.  The changes in my personal development and growth over the last year have been huge and I credit that progress solely to the decision to ‘go public’ with my goals!

It all started in December 2012 when I came across a ‘Transformation Challenge’ being run by ‘Early To Rise’ a website I subscribe to.  The challenge required that you signed up to a 90-day goal challenge in the areas of Health, Wealth and Wisdom.

I turned out to be one of over 40,000 people who signed up for the challenge worldwide.  I dutifully set my goals for the 90-days and then conscientiously entered my progress every day.  The accountability made my progress quicker as I was determined that I would have some progress to report every day, no matter how small.

It was as a direct result of this challenge that my website was born…just three days before the end of the challenge!

I’ve made some wonderful new friends from around the globe because of this challenge too and we continue to be in contact.

So the major lesson here is if you want to progress your goals, be brave and be publicly accountable!

Personal Responsibility

In a world where blame-culture is the ‘norm’, taking personal responsibility seems to be rare.  I have been as guilty as anyone else of this blame mind set, often looking for someone else or circumstances to blame for my current reality, but 2013 has been the year I’ve fully appreciated and learnt the power of being responsible for my own circumstances.

An affirmation, a truth really brought it home for me:

‘Everything I experience today is the result of choices I made in the past’

For me, this was as true for any actions I’d taken in the past as for anything I’d chosen not to take action on.  And truthfully, it was the things I hadn’t taken action on that were really significant and that I found myself looking to change.

A further development of the idea of personal responsibility came when I accepted that if I controlled my reactions to less-than-desirable circumstances I found myself in, I was less likely to back myself into a corner by making sweeping statements which I could then not back down from without losing face.

This is by no means an easy choice to make.  Sometimes I really want to vent my annoyance, anger or disappointment, but, I now try to remain rational until I find myself in a calmer place and able to respond in a more measured way.  This remains a work in progress however, and something I will need to improve probably for ever more ;).

Choosing to Keep Going

Linked to personal responsibility, I have also made the decision not to allow difficult, annoying, disappointing or downright frustrating events to derail my goal action plans.

In the past I have allowed myself to be the victim of whatever mood I was experiencing.  To make matters worse, I allowed my moods to be swayed by the moods of others or the circumstances I found myself in.  So, if a shop assistant annoyed me, for example, I’d let the resulting bad mood affect my output for the rest of the day.  What a waste of time!

Looking back, this has been one of the biggest hindrances to my productivity.  But somewhere in the last year a change happened and now, even though I may still feel annoyance, frustration or other negative emotions, I choose to keep going anyway.  That’s not to say that I can laugh at the frustrations that come my way, after all, I’m not immune to these emotions.  However, I have now decided that I will not let the random effect of circumstances or others’ emotions determine how my day should look.

In effect, my process is to acknowledge, do what I can (if anything) to help, and then return to my original plan for the day.  In other words, I have chosen to take personal responsibility for my reactions to people and circumstances.

The effect is liberating!

So there it is, part one of my life lessons from 2013.  Next week I will focus more on the challenges that 2013 sent my way and the things I learned from those challenges.

I hope you enjoyed my latest post.  What has 2013 taught you?  Were you challenged?  Did you experience a period of personal growth?  I’d love to hear your experiences too…please leave a comment!

Photo: Traci Gardner