What is the True Measure of Success?

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What is the True Measure of Success?

Although the media, the web, books and some people would have us think otherwise, success is very much a personal measure. How we measure our success is determined by so many factors that affect our lives, that it’s almost ludicrous to imagine that success can only be defined according to the amount of ‘things’ you have accumulated or how high you rise in your career.

These are the outwards measures of success, which can bear little resemblance to the reality of your personal life, and ultimately, how happy and satisfied you are with the life you are living.

Our needs and therefore our aspirations change as we move through our lives, although the usual bottom line of all our aspirations is the desire to be happy. It follows then that identifying the true meaning of happiness to you, is paramount to achieving a successful life. The trouble is, I guess, that we’re persuaded from so many ‘authorities’ that there is a formula to success and that we should therefore follow it. By and large, it seems that this ‘formula’ usually embraces financial and/or career success as the true measure of success and little else.

Challenges to Your Success

Whilst there are numerous examples of people who have risen from adversity in one form or another to heights of success that may be enviable to most of us, comparing ourselves to others without knowing someone’s personal circumstances will only lead to resentment and antipathy.

So what is the true measure of success?

As I’ve already mentioned, I believe that the true measure of success is personal. It’s personal when measured against your own individual aspirations (not everyone wants to be a millionaire, although the gurus would have you believe otherwise). It’s also personal when you consider your starting point and your own personal challenges.

Here are a few examples…

Your Health Issues or the Health Issues of Those You Care For

This is a tricky one. A quick scan of the internet would give countless examples of people who have ‘succeeded’ despite the health challenges they have faced. Indeed, some of these are extreme, like the stories of Mark Zupan and Tanni Grey-Thompson. These are wonderful stories, but that aside, it’s really not helpful to compare ourselves to others in this way, although using their stories as inspiration to achieve our own aspirations can be helpful.

Most of us will either face personal health issues or be called upon to care for others with health challenges as some point in our lives. Some of these issues will be chronic and consequently will demand time, patience and fortitude. It’s no wonder then that any goals we may have may be delayed, changed or let go.

Your Upbringing and the Expectations of Others

Your upbringing can have a huge impact not only on your ability to reach (outwardly successful) goals but also on your level of aspiration and ambition. If you were brought up to believe that ‘we don’t do things like that…’ then it can be extremely difficult to go against the expectations of others and actually succeed. This can be a real stumbling block as you run the risk of alienating yourself from those you love.

Similarly, this scenario can play the other way, when the expectations on you as a child have made you inclined to strive for outward success, even though you know in your heart that this isn’t what you want.

Your Level of Ambition

We’re not all ambitious…or are we? It’s useful when considering your level of ambition to understand the definition:

• a strong desire to do or achieve something;
• desire and determination to achieve success.

By definition then, ambition does not specify what it is that you may want to achieve. Nor does is state what success is. And so we come right back to the idea that the true measure of success is actually personal.

What do you have the desire and determination to achieve?

It Doesn’t Always Boil Down to Time and Money

If you were to ask people why they haven’t achieved the level of success prescribed by society, the answer will invariably be something along the lines of not having enough time or money to do the things they want to do. Whilst this will be true to some extent, it isn’t the full story because in the end the true measure of success comes from your ideas of what you actually want.

Lack of time and money is an easy ‘out’ to the question, but resist doing yourself a disservice. Your reasons for your personal aspirations should only be measured against your personal principles and not those prescribed by society. Do not feel any shame for this!

Useful Resources

I’m well aware that throughout my blog you will find many posts that encourage, indeed, implore you to go after the things you want. This, of course, could easily be interpreted as going after society’s ideas of success, but, it’s unlikely that others’ ideas of success will make you happy.

Way back in 2013 when I started this blog, my very post talked about the need to work towards your own definition of success. This still stands true. We all know and accept (unfortunately) that judging by others is commonplace, but don’t let this put you off from living the life you want, complete with your “normal” and/or “unusual” aspirations.

Because, in a world where anything goes, the choice is always yours.