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Friends

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Friends_1I’ve often alluded to the difficulties we may encounter when we start moving out of our comfort zone. We might lack confidence in what we’re about to do, our skills are likely to be under-developed or we could be facing opposition from others who are uncomfortable with the direction we’re planning to move in. All of these are very real feelings and present as obstacles that can, and will derail us if we allow them to.

But when it comes to the potential loss of support from friends, this can feel far worse than just not having the skills or a general lack of confidence.

Without the support of our friends, we may feel lonely and sometimes even that we are being reckless! After all, if others don’t support us and can’t see the merit in what we’re trying to achieve, we may wonder if it’s sensible to keep going.

Is this your experience? Do you sometimes question your intentions because of the negative or unsupportive stance of your friends?

Like others I have experienced this situation and felt these feelings too. Indeed, there have been times when my commitment to keep goingFriends_2 has not been strong enough to overcome the seeds of doubt which have been sown, and so, I’ve floundered and turned back, at least for a while.

But with this in mind, what might be out there, beyond our comfort zone that we can hold out for to help keep us going?

[Read more…] about Friends

Determined To Achieve

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Determined_1Have you ever tried shifting a steadfast object? A tree trunk that spoils the lines of your front lawn, permanent black marker accidently applied to a white board or maybe a person who is determined to achieve their objectives?

The tree trunk can be removed with time, effort and determination. The process will likely create a lot of mess and will leave an indelible mark in the lawn for a few seasons, but, eventually the mark will blend into the rest of the lawn and the unwanted tree trunk will become a distant memory.

I’ve seen first-hand the results of efforts at removing permanent marker from a white board. The board had been scrubbed until the ink faded, but, the words were still there. The room monitor was frustrated at the effort involved and also at the person who had carelessly applied the ink. There was now bad feeling between the two. Eventually the room monitor gave in and just painted over the marks with white paint! It seems this was the lesser of two evils, but in the end, a mark of sorts still remained.

And what of the determined person? The one who has a very clear goal in mind and is determined to achieve the outcome no matter the price? Also, let’s assume for this purpose that the goal is positive and has been well-considered. In the longer term success will result in a Determined_3life improvement for the goal-maker and is also likely to have a positive impact on those around him/her. Some goals of this nature might be:

  • To actively pursue a promotion at work or to set up his/her own business
  • To lose weight by following specific diet guidelines
  • To improve fitness by joining a gym or signing up to a fitness challenge (eg, run a marathon)
  • To leave home and set up independently
  • To work towards financial independence/early retirement
  • To study for a degree or learn a new language
  • To improve confidence and assertiveness

[Read more…] about Determined To Achieve

Dealing With Criticism

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criticism0

Dealing with criticism is difficult.  It can cause us unhappiness and distress.  In my post today I’ve taken a fictional case study approach to exploring this area.

Marie sat opposite me sipping a cup of coffee, her eyes red and puffy from crying which, for now, had at least stopped.

“I’ve struggled to deal with criticism all my life.” She told me.

“Whether this was well-meant in the form of so-called (she highlighted the words) constructive criticism or a deliberate insult seems to have been irrelevant. Instead my automatic response was, and is, always to take it to heart and then to make the mental leap from initial indignation to upset and anguish.”

The tears threatened the edges of her mascaraed eyes once again…

“It’s as if I can’t rationalise what I’m being told in the moment and either can’t accept it as a fair point or I’m unable to come back with sensible reasons as to why it’s just not true.”

“But then, I can’t deny how, when I felt the criticism was undeserved, it has fuelled in me a desire to show the culprit that I am not guilty of the so called misdemeanour. This in turn has made me very determined and consequently made me push hard against my perceived barriers.” [Read more…] about Dealing With Criticism

How I’m Using Affirmations To Become The Real Me

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journeyThe thing I love about affirmations is the way they subtlety allow new and empowering truths to embed themselves into my mind. In using them, I gently become the person I want to be, or rather, the person I know I am. I’m continually surprised when a new behaviour naturally makes an appearance and I realise, on reflection, that I’ve been affirming it as part of my daily routine!

The adage goes that we need to take some time to find ourselves. We need to take time to find out what really makes us happy, what makes us sad, to find out where our passions lie, for work, for love, even for food (maybe this one is easier!). But is this really true? Do we really need to find ourselves?

I think there’s another way to think about this and that’s to consider the things we know, or better put, believe about ourselves. For example, if I believe that I am a shy person, is this really true? Will setting out on a journey of self-discovery enlighten me sufficiently to categorically confirm that I am indeed a shy person? Furthermore, even if I am able to determine that this is the case, will I like what I discover or will I be inclined to make changes so that I am no longer a shy person? Maybe being a shy person doesn’t sit well with my aspirations and I therefore perceive that there is a need for change. [Read more…] about How I’m Using Affirmations To Become The Real Me

You Have Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty of these every year!

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dolphinEight thousand, seven hundred and sixty.

Written like this, it sounds like a big number, maybe like there’s a lot of it. But if that’s the case, why do I never feel like I have enough time? 8,760 – that’s one year’s worth of hours! Where do they all go?

Is this your experience too? Whether I’m working or relaxing, there never seems to be enough time to fit everything that I want to do into my day. I always seem to end up rushing around and then come the end of the day I’m wondering what, if anything, productive or goal-oriented I’ve achieved.

Of course, it’s not that I can’t remember what I’ve been doing during the day, but sometimes I’m disappointed to conclude that the things which have been crossed off the list weren’t that important in the scheme of things anyway, and, to make things worse, they’ve not really contributed to my long-term plans.

I’ve recently gone through a process of reviewing and renewing my goals in an effort to gain more clarity and focus. This has been a very worthwhile use of time (thankfully!) and I now feel clear on my business goals for the next 3 -6 months. [Read more…] about You Have Eight thousand, seven hundred and sixty of these every year!

I did that!

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mau1
This is Mau!

I sat back, content and smug, and continued to stare at the website I’d been working on for the last three weeks.  A ‘cheshire cat’ grin tugged the corners of my mouth upwards as I thought to myself: ‘I did that!’.

Welcome to my new website, it’s been three weeks in the making, thanks to my very limited knowledge of anything techy, but here it is! Working on my website has got me thinking about how far I’ve come since I started this journey…

Do you ever take the time to look back at your achievements? I must admit that this isn’t something I do very often, preferring instead to stay as focussed as possible on the journey ahead. This attitude of not looking back is clearly supported by a number of successful people also, as there are many relevant quotes out there and this one from Zig Ziglar springs to mind immediately:

“Don’t look back, you’re not going that way!”

Succinct and to the point! [Read more…] about I did that!