The Importance of Showing Up

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The Importance of Showing Up

Showing up refers to our ability to remain committed to and consistent in our actions. Depending on how you approach your life, this may be fairly easy for you, or you may find it quite difficult. It’s possible you even wonder at the point of consistency, since sometimes it seems there are no tangible results for the amount of effort (action) we exert.

The Obvious Way of Showing Up

To attempt to put some perpective on this, consider your attitude to turning up to work each day. You may love your job and find it worthwhile and fulfilling. Consequently, remaining committed and therefore consistent in your ability to show up is a ‘no-brainer’.

On the other hand, you may find little joy in your job and so showing up is a matter of practicalities. You need to work to maintain your standard of living and so the reason to show up is extrinsic. Sooner or later you’ll likely find something else which is more appealing and enjoyable and so you’ll move on. But, the point remains that you show up anyway, because, for many reasons, you feel you must. It’s one of the proverbial ‘should dos’.

Showing Up In Less Obvious Places

Whilst using the example of your job provides an easy illustration of the need to show up, it’s in the less regulated areas of our lives that having the ability to show up becomes most empowering and infinitely more rewarding. It’s also the places that are likely to present more of a personal challenge because not doing them is likely to have limited impact in the short term.

Woody Allen’s famous quote that:

Eighty percent of success is showing up

Reminds us that success is often not about our talents (or lack of), our skills or our charismatic personalities. Instead, it’s about our ability to do the things we need to do, even when we don’t feel like it. It’s about showing up and being counted whether the chips are up or down.

I pondered this thought for some time as a considered the flip side of giving of ourselves, and therefore depleting our own personal reserves against the importance of looking after our own wellbeing. But then I thought, how many of us actually show up for our own wellbeing activities in the first place?

Some Examples to Ponder

Before I move on, here are some things you may want to ponder and whether you’re actually showing up. We often think that we’re doing what we can, but the reality can be quite different. In some instances we may not have even considered that we should be ‘showing up’.

Relationships

How do you approach your relationships? Sometimes we think we only need to put 50% effort into our relationships and the other party should put 50% effort in too, after all, that seems fair, right? If that’s how you’re showing up, how are your key relationships looking?

Consider this instead, and to give credit, I first heard this from a talk given by Jim Rohn.

How would your relationships improve if you put 100% effort in? And really, isn’t this what you should be doing anyway? As humans, we automatically respond to the treatment we receive, whether that is positive or negative. Consequently, a 100% effort is likely to result in a reciprocal and much improved positive result.

If you really want to improve your relationships, particularly your relationship with your partner, check out The 5 Love Languages, I read it a few years ago, and it’s fascinating and really helps you to understand what makes your partner ‘tick’!  It’s also full of practical ideas.

Health

There’s no getting away from this. We have only this one body available to us.

Are you showing up and taking care of your one-and-only body? What should you be doing that you know you’re not because you’re just paying lip-service to the notion of healthy foods, fitness, relaxation, stress-reduction techniques, maintenance (for example, looking after your teeth, attending regular check-ups with your doctor and following up on the advice given).

Your Personal Environment

By this, I mean, just look around you. Do you like the environment you’ve created for yourself? Is it as neat and tidy as you’d like? Is it welcoming? Or, do you close the door to your home and hope you don’t have any unexpected visitors?

There are of course many areas we could consider, these are just a few worth thinking about. But don’t forget, anywhere where the results aren’t what you want, or further, want for the future is a place where you’re not currently showing up to be counted.

Being Vulnerable

But why do we shy away from showing up and doing the things that we know will benefit us? Or, for that matter, why do we continue to do the things that we know are detrimental to ourselves?

This quote from Brene Brown begins to shed some light:

Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think.

I think a lot of our perceived problem with showing up and being seen, is just that – being seen. When we show up and put ourselves out there, we’re vulnerable. We potentially expose ourselves to criticism, ridicule and failure, none of which are particularly attractive!

How often have you avoided saying no to a social event, even though you knew you couldn’t really afford to go, simply because you didn’t want to be the odd-one-out?  Similarly admitting to your personal circumstances can feel humiliating. I’ve often found that this is further compounded, when, even if you ‘fess up that you’re a bit strapped for cash, other people still try to persuade you to do (and spend) anyway!

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Is Satisfactory Enough?

Frankly it can be hard enough to muster the willpower to do the right thing and/or avoid the wrong thing, without the peer pressure that comes with being seen as the goody-two-shoes!

As we review the various things we could be giving our attention to, it’s easy to assume that we don’t need to put in too much effort right now because everything seems to be ok. Our health is satisfactory, our relationships are adequate and our career is acceptable. But cast your thoughts back to the Woody Allen quote and question whether these satisfactory and adequate results are setting you up for the success you’re hoping for in that particular area of your life?

Being Self Disciplined

Of course, none of us are perfect and there will be times that we’ll cave in to the pressure, whether that’s from external sources or from our own inability to muster sufficient self-discipline in the moment. Even as I write this, the thought of heading out the door later today to complete my planned 10 miles of running this week has got me looking for excuses to avoid the inevitable.

But, I’ve done my best to set myself up for success this week:

• I’ve joined an accountability group (it’s a Facebook group) for would-be and actual runners.
• I’ve posted my goal for the week in the group and have had encouraging feedback and support from group members.
• It’s my final run for the week and having already knocked off 7.5 miles I feel more determined than usual to complete the 10 miles and claim victory! In other words, I got most of the work out of the way early in the week, making it far less likely that I’ll let myself off the hook today.
• I’ve learned to ignore the passing cars on my route. They may or may not notice me, that’s really not my concern, regardless of how hot, sweaty and red I look!
• Finally, I’m proud of myself for showing up 3 times this week so far.

So what can we take away from this post?

When I started writing it, I had in mind that even though success is as simple as showing up, which it is, there’s so much more to the process and inevitably so much more to the reasons we maybe ‘give it a miss, this time’. But, taking just a few points on and actively living them can go a long way to ensuring you show up more often! These points are both extrinsic and intrinsic.

Learning Points

• Know what you really want and be prepared to ignore the other things that people think will be good for you.
• Be prepared to say ‘no’ or go against the accepted norm.
• Set yourself up for success (you could join my FREE, closed Facebook Challenge Group)
• Avoid self-sabotage (sort those preparations)
• Be vulnerable and proud.
• Show Up!

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. Are you showing up in the places you need to or are you quietly turning a blind eye to some parts of your life you wish were better? Maybe it’s time to take action and show up!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I showed up for my run today (even before finishing this post) and met and exceeded my goal of 10 miles for this week!  Happy Days! 🙂